i shld get over him

im getting over him. im gona get over him, very soon, today i dun feel so much like last time alr. and i hope i will get over this, and everyone ard me is against of me liking him. and really, maybe it's really a mistake. im trying trying to hard to correct it but my heart seems to be quite rebellious...sigh...well, i think, i shldnt disappoint more people, i shld just end it. and right now, i just hope he can be very very bad to me first, then i can really get over him, right now im like, still, having like a slim hope that he might like me cos he and the other gal is like not having any progress and he might actually eventually like me and if he dun prefer me why he so good friend with me? andI THINK THESE ARE ALL BIG FAT EXCUSES THAT I FED TO MYSELF EVERYTIME THERE'S A CHANCE FOR ME TO SEE THE REALITY OF THINGS LA. and the reality is..:HE DOES NOT LIKE ME, AND TO THE MAXIMUM HE JUST TAKE ME AS A GOOD FRIEND. and i shld stop dreaming. really, you see, during outings and stuff like that, and for every time i see him, he treats me like any other person, and i shld have been clear abt it like ages ago, it's juz that i keep bluffing myself. i keep feeding myself with fake hopes...i am pathetic right? ha ha,hahahahahahahahahahaha, i've never felt so much like a failure before. as in, yes, im darn hell HURT by this entire whole thing, but not by jiayi, but by myself. he has nothing to do with all these, he's just being himself, it's me who's pushing myself towards a cliff, and if i continue moving forward, i will fall. and like wad my dad( or mr low? i forgot anway some big firgure) always says abt me, "wang mo rarely falls, but if she falls, she falls hard". yeah i think im doing injustice to both him me myself. i deserve better right? i really wana find a person who likes me too, it's ok that i like him more than he likes me, but it's not ok that i like him but he doesnt like me. ha ha ha ha, im juz dreaming laz, jiayi will never like me, never ever. ha ha ha ha. i duno, we can talk very long on msn, we can laugh together, can have fun together but he doesnt like me, and love cant be forced. well, ha ha ha, this might be the first and last time im gona be madly in love, ha ha, maybe when im totally over him, i can tell him abt it, like saying a joke....ha ha...but not now, i know, i still like him, but i also know, i shld get over him. sigh, i really hope i dun need to see him ever again. really, hopefully nxt yr i can go us or uk soon, really soon, and i will never come back to spore, i will never ever gg to see him again. sigh...how? im sad...today's outing, really proved to me that hey, he's so happy. and hey, why im not happy? it's time for me to forget abt him, and get on to another chapter of my life....