逃避不一定躲得过
面对不一定最难过
孤单不一定不快乐
得到不一定能长久
失去不一定不再拥有
你可能因为某个理由而伤心难过
但你却能找个理由让自己快乐

down with flue...

Im not sure how life is going to be for me, it seems, as i am approaching 20 years old in 2 months time, i am becoming more and more confused about my life. I might seem to be the ever confident girl boasting in front of you how she thinks she can be a future politician, BUT...im actually the one whose most uncertain about almost everything.

I am a failure in a lot of things.

Life is just unfair and can never be fair, the strong ones will triumph while the weak ones will slowly disappear...the competition is cruel but it's REAL.

After i started teaching, finally i realised the meaning of being in the society, i cant be myself, just cant. and on top of that, i just felt that life doesnt always go the way i want it to go, this is to say that i KNOW it already, felt it, experienced it, so it is no longer just an abstract saying that i always hear from my parents.

As an arts person, i wont deny that i am sentimental, volatile? well, i prefer not to use a word that has negative indications but...emotional yes. i cant forget about something or somebody easily, as long as that thing or that persons has appeared in my life and became important for a period of time, it will not be forgotten. bad, yes, think it's very bad for me. Right now im trying hard to forget about someone, forget about the gd times i spent with him, forget about the good things that he made learn. But it's just so hard...i just hope..one day, i will finally be able to do it, i believe forgetting can be hard, but it is never impossible to forget...may be, i shld just not try so hard so that it might be easier?


I'm a gal with dreams, i want to be let go of, i no longer want to force myself to achieving anything,i want to live in my dreamland...i am really tired..