well, the day passed pretty fast as i was helping mr muhammad with some deco making for the coming school musical and also the SYF competition. And in the middle of doing it, i got permission to do some History ppt slides for the History Department. I have to confess that I used some of my JC notes to compliment the lack of information shown by the rather inefficient textbk. sighz, there's no difference, my hist textbk when i was in sec3 was as bad as this. Basically the only good part of it was that, it is colourful. oh well...forgive me, i'm an art stu...im attracted by colours...wadever.
Coming up with the teaching ppt was hard, I always have to make a decision on whether I should include more infor or make the slide less wordy. I mean, yes of course you can like...make slides less wordy by having many slides, but i mean...summerising is a good technique when it comes to history. yeah. You cant give students 100 slides for one chapter. anyway, i was doing the 'roads to independence' chapters, and i find that the infor given by the textbk were too...scattered, so I came up with my own format. yeah, and i managed to try to reduce some infor and make the slides more reader-friendly. i hope so, i wont want the students to fall asleep after reading the longlong..dulldull...boringboring...slides. Being a history stu once, i understand how dry the subject can be. sighz.... and finally, i stopped at ard 45 slides for 2 chapters...clap clap clap..with 4 case studies: spore, indonesia, malaya and vietnam. I think i love history, by doing the slides, it refreshes my memories as a history stu, I miss my my studying days...my days in jc..phewww...i'm getting emo now...arkkk..im mental.
and...regarding the scholarship thingy, i have no chance lah, yeah. fullstop. now i have a few other choices:
1) Study in NUS
Chances: unless i get into Law or the double degree of Law and master in Public Policy, my parents wont fund me.
2) take parent scholarship and go LSE
chances: my parents have started to think on this line when by now, they've finally accepted the reality that their daughter's chance of getting a scholarship is bleak.
3) rob a bank and get 300,000 singapore dollar ( 1.5 million ren min bi) and go LSE
chances: quite high, I am at the verge of doing so.heehee.lalalalalalalala.i need a toy gun. :P...kidding, i am only capable of robbing my parent's bank account at the very most.
and...i hope sunday will go well. I am gona give jy a surprise which i duno if he will take it as a pleasant surprise or not. But if i were to put myself in his shoes, i would be elated. As in, sometimes, nothing's more important than regaining back something which we thought was lost. esp when it was lost in the midst of some stupid misunderstandings. And also, it's always good to have one more friend than one more enemy and act awkward everytime the two meet. I am, i mean, i believe that I am doing a good deed by re-linking a broken friendship between him and another one, and hope this time everything will go well and my good intentions wont be misinterpreted again. i hope. I duno why, people tend to misunderstand me very easily, but, well, probably it's my fault. yeah. time for reflections mo. that's also why im not a piece of sholar's material.yeah.
and...for some unknown reason, I got a swollen eye O.o just now...and it's very painful now...hope i will be well at least by sun. it always takes a long time for me to recover. sometimes i wonder if i should be dead a long time ago. may be god made a mistake.But...there have been enough senseless deaths taking place on Earth everyday. Bet god forgot about me. How Unfair.
I think of Wilfred Owen dreaming up the ghost of a soldier he'd killed. The ghost speaks:
I am the enemy you killed, my friend.
I knew you in this dark; for so you frowned
Yesterday through me as you jabbed and killed.
I parried; but my hands were loath and cold.
Let us sleep now ...
Shit...I think im suicidal...same as this dog we both have strong desire to end our lives...nahhh...but i hope...im not following his method...it's a little too cruel to myself...tsktsk
