something light...had my whole day in the hall. cool. i love the mike.good for my throat. and pheww...what a day, had 2c, 3c,4c in the morning, and then 3a,3b and 3c in the afternoon. anyway...it's quite interesting, yeah. oh the funny thing was when the student council pres told us that there will be a public canning session during assembly, and the offence was that a grp of boys watched porn on HP. I thought he was talking about 'pond' and im like : WTH...why watch pond also cannot? then...-_-'''..yeah...they laughed and laughed and laughed....sighz...i am so naive...-_-'''

Okay, Here's my decision and my parents' decision on my university choice.

Mo: UNI:NUS
Course: LAW

Mo's Parents: UNI: LSE
COURSE: International Relations.
Well, this is getting on my nerves. You know why i bloody need the scholarship? it's cos of my parents. Yes, they are paying, and hear what they say. They keep on telling me how big a failure I am. They say that I have bad temper, bad social skills, bad survival sense and paying for me is a bloody way of throwing money into the sea but because of the fact that i am their only child and they cant afford to let me loose their face, they will pay, but that does not mean that they believe that i would one day, become someone of importance, and neither did they expect me to be able to earn back whatever they've paid for me even if i work like a cow for the rest of my life. Okay. fine, if i am really that bad, what's the use of paying at all? what the holly cow...i am like...who am i to them? an object to show off in fornt of others and to kick and play around at home.

See, that's why i need to be financially independent. I seriously need money now. all the talk abt gg overseas, and now, even if it seems that i might really have to go, for the first time in my life i am thinking of just staying in spore. afterall, i realised that for my entire whole 20 yrs of life, though i hate to admit this but, i was trying to win their acknowledgement, i worked so hard, in order to win some pathetic praises from them, in order to meet their expectations. And finally, after 20 years of struggle, i realised that i tried too hard, usually, when one tries too hard, one ends up getting nothing he or she desires. same here. I got nothing, they trusted me less than they did before, they think that i would just take their money and ruin it and ruin myself. so why bother to give me the money? again it boils down to thir face matter. what's so bloody more impt than your daughter's happiness? FACE. fine. i am staying in NUS. i dun quite give a damn now, though i really love the place in UK.

i can never decide for myself. i want a scholarship. I know it always offend those who also want a scholarship because they cant pay up. But, i am not those filthy rich ppl who apply for scholarship for no better reason than just to show that they are capable. I need the bloody scholarship as badly as anyone, imagine having to spend someone else's money and get super depressed everytime u take money from that person? because my very own parents do not believe in whatever that's positive about me. THEY SAID, I WILL BECOME RUBBISH AND MY FUTURE WILL END UP IN NOWHERE IF I STUDY IN SPORE. AT LEAST LSE'S NAME COULD WIN ME A JOB IN FUTURE. i dun want to get a job becuase i attended some stupid famous sch, i wana get a job cos they think i am capable enough. you see. no you don't.

no one understands.
one says: since ur parents are paying, just go ahead lah.
another says: you are so rich, just go lah, what's the big deal.
another: it's for your own good
another: dun come and compete with me lah
another: up to you.
another...
another....
another.....
another.............................

i've had had enough. shucks. i am pissed.
so..let me see my scholarship progress:
1) IE Spore: 1st round interview, waiting for results
2) SPH: writing test, my paper is in the process of marking. wait.
3) MOE: taken psychometric test(screwed up the whole thing esp math), waiting for result.
4) IRAS: they are still in the process of shortlisting for interview.

HOLLYGOD. I AM THIS SCREWED.

nevermind.