well, i must say that, keeping a blog alive is quite a hard thing to do. especially for a person as lazy as me. actually, most of the time i have a lot of things to write, to say, to espress...to wadever. but then, the moment i think of typing them all out, it freaks me out. and yep...so well...anyway...i am in Beijing now. Well, not as happy as i thought myself to be. I dont know why. Last time, going back to my hometown used to be my ultimate goal for the yr. but now, it seems, like an annual...chore which im forced to do. well, i still do miss my relatives here, my grandmother, my dad(maybe) my cousins...and most importantly, the City itself, which i used to be very proud of. but now...i dont know if is it because i've grown up, i felt that, i no longer need all these people around, i no longer care so much about country pride or wadever patriotic stuff...i just want to have a place for myself, just a tiny little bit of area for myself, where i can lock myself in and...yeah....be alone for a while. Today's City is too complicated and noisy for me. Im just back for a wk and 1 days, and within these short 8 days, i have to go around entertaining my parent's friends with them, listen to them talking abt me, my future, their kids, their achievements...and all those bloody things which im never interested in. All those restaurant food...colourful but not tasty at all. And all those "Harvard", "Yale","Imperial College","Cornell" etc etc...come on! im living my life! i dont want to go to all those stupid countries. I am stupid! im neither future Harvard graduate nor future Yale graduate. im juz a pethatic little helpless kid who's struggling to get out of my prarent's control. well...hahahaha...i think im so lost now, i dun think i would want to go back to china to work, it's juz too corrupted, no matter how much i tried to bluff myself, the truth speaks. look at them, juz one night, juz one dinner, 3000 china bucks gone, and there's still many "nights" and "dinners" to come. life is juz like that. and im not used to it.
sighz...yeah...im stuck here, and...hahaha...u know? in beijing, the sun sets at ard 3pm wahahaha...and then after that then it starts to get dark...and i always wake up ard 12pm so my day is only half a day! im living half days everyday! wahahahah...sorry...i dun think im sane....never mind, im never sane. whooooaaaaa....a long entry....
Monday, December 11, 2006
Sunday, December 03, 2006
heyz!
heyz people, please go to my photo web to look at my photos...he he he...do give some comments:)
http://wangmo.multiply.com/photos
http://wangmo.multiply.com/photos
NJPS exco farewell
err... i really duno wad to say liao lor, PS is really a failure club now, the senior farewell dinner is almost like, the seniors farewell for themselves. Our current exco, only jiayi and ian and li ang were there, and well, i dropped by and left pretty soon, feeling damn cheated cos aiya, my fav senior wasnt there and i think there's no point staying on, eating dinner with a bunch of seniors whom u dun really know or dun really like. They really failed in engaging us laz. SI jie, yixian all didnt go. so wad's the point for me to go? And jiayi and liang are like, old members, older generations, so they know the seniors well enough to be able to mix with them, poor ian. sighz. well...and the whole thing turned out to be like a flop and i think, ps will continue to stay in this state. sighz sighz...nxt yr im gona be an invisible exco, im not gona get involved in such a failure cca. well..i've tried, but it proved itself to be beyond hope. And...sighz...i really dun find anymore meanings staying in ps, maybe cos got si jie? well, and jiayi, but this guy, too profound to be considered as my friend. i'm always intimidated by his...actions...words, not that he purposely go and threaten me, but juz that, he's always very...unpredictable and deep...sighz...well...i've only seen him pissed for once, and that once is enough for me...until now i still feel like crying...when i thought of wad he said...sighz..well..never mind, life has to go on, juz one less friend...aiya...but a bit "she bu de" cos he's really a nice person when he's not angry...ha ha ha, very helpful guy, but never mind, i still got karen and si jie...:P
Sunday, November 19, 2006
love...it's an unpredictable thingy
逃避你
世界最遥远的一种相距中明明迷恋
然而
又不知怎向你形容
呆想
只会越盼越冷
我怎么可得到你认同
我不清楚
不太懂
世界最遥远的一种相距中
明明情深
然而
亦不敢亲切地抱拥
呆等
感觉被我断送
纵使看不清所爱面容
仍未敢伸出我手触碰
逃避你
却又期待我可跟你做情人
而用情的心
可天昏地暗
逃避你
爱是遥又远得很
而我始终不敢靠近
还是不相信能和你合衬
如果和你从没开始 我又何苦如此伤痛？
i shld get over him
im getting over him. im gona get over him, very soon, today i dun feel so much like last time alr. and i hope i will get over this, and everyone ard me is against of me liking him. and really, maybe it's really a mistake. im trying trying to hard to correct it but my heart seems to be quite rebellious...sigh...well, i think, i shldnt disappoint more people, i shld just end it. and right now, i just hope he can be very very bad to me first, then i can really get over him, right now im like, still, having like a slim hope that he might like me cos he and the other gal is like not having any progress and he might actually eventually like me and if he dun prefer me why he so good friend with me? andI THINK THESE ARE ALL BIG FAT EXCUSES THAT I FED TO MYSELF EVERYTIME THERE'S A CHANCE FOR ME TO SEE THE REALITY OF THINGS LA. and the reality is..:HE DOES NOT LIKE ME, AND TO THE MAXIMUM HE JUST TAKE ME AS A GOOD FRIEND. and i shld stop dreaming. really, you see, during outings and stuff like that, and for every time i see him, he treats me like any other person, and i shld have been clear abt it like ages ago, it's juz that i keep bluffing myself. i keep feeding myself with fake hopes...i am pathetic right? ha ha,hahahahahahahahahahaha, i've never felt so much like a failure before. as in, yes, im darn hell HURT by this entire whole thing, but not by jiayi, but by myself. he has nothing to do with all these, he's just being himself, it's me who's pushing myself towards a cliff, and if i continue moving forward, i will fall. and like wad my dad( or mr low? i forgot anway some big firgure) always says abt me, "wang mo rarely falls, but if she falls, she falls hard". yeah i think im doing injustice to both him me myself. i deserve better right? i really wana find a person who likes me too, it's ok that i like him more than he likes me, but it's not ok that i like him but he doesnt like me. ha ha ha ha, im juz dreaming laz, jiayi will never like me, never ever. ha ha ha ha. i duno, we can talk very long on msn, we can laugh together, can have fun together but he doesnt like me, and love cant be forced. well, ha ha ha, this might be the first and last time im gona be madly in love, ha ha, maybe when im totally over him, i can tell him abt it, like saying a joke....ha ha...but not now, i know, i still like him, but i also know, i shld get over him. sigh, i really hope i dun need to see him ever again. really, hopefully nxt yr i can go us or uk soon, really soon, and i will never come back to spore, i will never ever gg to see him again. sigh...how? im sad...today's outing, really proved to me that hey, he's so happy. and hey, why im not happy? it's time for me to forget abt him, and get on to another chapter of my life....
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
...
| You Are a Sensitive Kisser |
 For you, kissing is a way to connect And you need lot of care, attention, and privacy It may take you a while to kiss someone... But when you do, it's total fireworks |
| You Are Sophisticated Sexy |
 You're a classy woman, and you carry yourself with grace. Most men are in awe of you, and even a bit intimidated by you. You always make sure you're looking great, from head to toe. And your charm and wit gets you on the good side of everyone you meet. |
| You Are Friends With Potential |
 There's a little spark going on here, no question about it Will this develop into a hot romance? Look to your guy friend for clues. Does he flirt with all his female friends? Or are you an exception? If he's giving you special treatment, you've won a part of his heart already. |
| You Are A Relationship Doormat! |
 Surprise, you ruin relationships. Bet you didn't see that one coming :-) While you're a nice, understanding, and caring girlfriend - you don't put your needs first. And deep down, it's probably because you worry about getting dumped. So speak up for yourself, weed out the losers sooner, and you'll find a guy that *deserves* you. |
| You Are 50% Scary |
 You're a pretty normal, nice girl... but you definitely have your scary moments. As long as you acknowledge them and apologize, you'll probably keep your guy around. |
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell. You'd like to your lover to think you are flexible and ready for anything! You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
| You Should Get a MBA (Masters of Business Administration) |
 You're a self starter with a drive for success. You'd make a great entrepreneur. |
| Your Love Style is Agape |
 You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love. |
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
what kind of person am i?
Your Social Anxiety Level: 8%
You have low social anxiety.You don't have any social anxiety. In fact, you love being social.You're well adjusted and likely quite outgoing. Your social skills put others at ease.
Are You Socially Anxious?
You Are A Romantic
You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to.Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you.Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted.Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do!
Are You Romantic or Realistic?
You Are Somewhat Honest
You do tend to tell the truth a lotBut you also stretch the truth on occasionYou figure a little lie isn't a big dealAs long as it doesn't hurt anyone too much!
How Honest Are You?
How You Are In Love
You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.You tend to take more than give in relationships.You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.
How Are You In Love?
You Are 72% Cynical
You're a full blown cynic... and probably even skeptical of these results.You have your optimistic moments, but most likely you keep them to yourself.
How Cynical Are You?
Your Dominant Intelligence is Spatial Intelligence
You've got a good sense of space and how the world around you looks.You can close your eyes and "see" images. You have innate artistic talent.An eye for color and shapes, you're also a natural designer.Since you think in pictures, visual aids and demonstartions help you learn best.You would make a good navigator, sculptor, visual artist, inventor, architect, interior designer, or engineer.
What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?
Your Personality Cluster is Extraverted Sensing
You are:A true admirer of beauty and artSomeone who seeks out variety and adventureNot interested in status or material wealthAble to act wisely without stopping to think
What's Your Personality Cluster?
Your Power Level is: 81%
You have all the tools you need to be a success - both professionally and personally.You'll probably go beyond reaching your goals. You'll change the world (at least a little).
How Powerful Are You?
Your Envy Quotient: 44%
You are an envious person, but only at times.Perhaps certain situations trigger your envy. Or maybe you're especially jealous when you're feeling insecure.Instead of letting that green monster out, work on making your own life better.And then maybe people will be envious of you.
How Much Envy Do You Have?
You Are Impressionism
You think the world is quite beautiful, especially if you look at it in new and interesting ways.You tend to focus on color and movement in art.For you, seeing the big picture is much more important than recording every little detail.You can find inspiration anywhere... especially from nature.
What Art Movement Are You?
Your Career Type: Enterprising
You are engertic, ambitious, and sociable.Your talents lie in politics, leading people, and selling things or ideas.You would make an excellent:Auctioneer - Bank President - Camp DirectorCity Manager - Judge - LawyerRecreation Leader - Real Estate Agent - Sales PersonSchool Principal - Travel Agent - TV NewscasterThe worst career options for your are investigative careers, like mathematician or architect.
What's Your Ideal Career?
Your Love Element Is Earth
In love, you have consistency and integrity.For you, love is all about staying grounded and centered.You attract others with your zest for life and experiences.Your flirting style is defined by setting the scene, creating a unique moment in time.Steady progress and stability are the cornerstones of your love life.You may take things too slowly, but you never put your heart at risk.You connect best with: FireAvoid: WoodYou and another Earth element: need each other too much to build a good foundation
What Element Is Your Love?
Your Love Life Secrets Are
Looking back on your life, you will only have one true love.You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt.You want to be with someone who's a success. A person with the right job, right family, right clothes...In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm.Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.
Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed
You Are 60% Weird
You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!
How Weird Are You?
You Are An ISTP
The MechanicYou are calm and collected, even in the most difficult of situations.A person of action and self-direction, you love being independent.To outsiders yous eem impulsive, surprising, and unpredictable.You are good at understanding how all things work, except for people.You would make an excellent pilot, forensic pathologist, or athlete.
What's Your Personality Type?
What Your Sleeping Position Says
You are confident and ready to tackle life.You are pretty vain and happy with your physical appearance.You are born to be the center of attention, and you're unhappy on the sidelines.You're always up for trying something new - in and out of bed!
those that are in bold and other colours are the things that i find ...most like me...and actually others are wuite like me too...this is quite accurate...hmmm....
You have low social anxiety.You don't have any social anxiety. In fact, you love being social.You're well adjusted and likely quite outgoing. Your social skills put others at ease.
Are You Socially Anxious?
You Are A Romantic
You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to.Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you.Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted.Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do!
Are You Romantic or Realistic?
You Are Somewhat Honest
You do tend to tell the truth a lotBut you also stretch the truth on occasionYou figure a little lie isn't a big dealAs long as it doesn't hurt anyone too much!
How Honest Are You?
How You Are In Love
You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.You tend to take more than give in relationships.You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.
How Are You In Love?
You Are 72% Cynical
You're a full blown cynic... and probably even skeptical of these results.You have your optimistic moments, but most likely you keep them to yourself.
How Cynical Are You?
Your Dominant Intelligence is Spatial Intelligence
You've got a good sense of space and how the world around you looks.You can close your eyes and "see" images. You have innate artistic talent.An eye for color and shapes, you're also a natural designer.Since you think in pictures, visual aids and demonstartions help you learn best.You would make a good navigator, sculptor, visual artist, inventor, architect, interior designer, or engineer.
What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?
Your Personality Cluster is Extraverted Sensing
You are:A true admirer of beauty and artSomeone who seeks out variety and adventureNot interested in status or material wealthAble to act wisely without stopping to think
What's Your Personality Cluster?
Your Power Level is: 81%
You have all the tools you need to be a success - both professionally and personally.You'll probably go beyond reaching your goals. You'll change the world (at least a little).
How Powerful Are You?
Your Envy Quotient: 44%
You are an envious person, but only at times.Perhaps certain situations trigger your envy. Or maybe you're especially jealous when you're feeling insecure.Instead of letting that green monster out, work on making your own life better.And then maybe people will be envious of you.
How Much Envy Do You Have?
You Are Impressionism
You think the world is quite beautiful, especially if you look at it in new and interesting ways.You tend to focus on color and movement in art.For you, seeing the big picture is much more important than recording every little detail.You can find inspiration anywhere... especially from nature.
What Art Movement Are You?
Your Career Type: Enterprising
You are engertic, ambitious, and sociable.Your talents lie in politics, leading people, and selling things or ideas.You would make an excellent:Auctioneer - Bank President - Camp DirectorCity Manager - Judge - LawyerRecreation Leader - Real Estate Agent - Sales PersonSchool Principal - Travel Agent - TV NewscasterThe worst career options for your are investigative careers, like mathematician or architect.
What's Your Ideal Career?
Your Love Element Is Earth
In love, you have consistency and integrity.For you, love is all about staying grounded and centered.You attract others with your zest for life and experiences.Your flirting style is defined by setting the scene, creating a unique moment in time.Steady progress and stability are the cornerstones of your love life.You may take things too slowly, but you never put your heart at risk.You connect best with: FireAvoid: WoodYou and another Earth element: need each other too much to build a good foundation
What Element Is Your Love?
Your Love Life Secrets Are
Looking back on your life, you will only have one true love.You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt.You want to be with someone who's a success. A person with the right job, right family, right clothes...In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm.Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.
Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed
You Are 60% Weird
You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!
How Weird Are You?
You Are An ISTP
The MechanicYou are calm and collected, even in the most difficult of situations.A person of action and self-direction, you love being independent.To outsiders yous eem impulsive, surprising, and unpredictable.You are good at understanding how all things work, except for people.You would make an excellent pilot, forensic pathologist, or athlete.
What's Your Personality Type?
What Your Sleeping Position Says
You are confident and ready to tackle life.You are pretty vain and happy with your physical appearance.You are born to be the center of attention, and you're unhappy on the sidelines.You're always up for trying something new - in and out of bed!
those that are in bold and other colours are the things that i find ...most like me...and actually others are wuite like me too...this is quite accurate...hmmm....
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Youth for Environment talk...greenlink...
hahaha...nice right? i like the water droplets....haha...sat went for the "youth for Environment forum" thingy at national library...saw Grant and grace and junying and ...aiya...the usual faces. personally i feel that the forum itself is not very well prepared, the speakers also...either read off from prepared scripts or some even can see that he or she never prepare at all. nothing very fruitful came out...well...but NJC Greenlink was mentioned quite a few times, we were really seen by the leaders of Singaopore's Enviro organisations as one of the leading green clubs in schools. that's really something to be proud of, and true enough, we've juz got our sustained achievement award (lotus) for Green Audit, the most prestigious award given to sch green clubs..3 consecutive years....we are pro laz! hahaha, and Mr Loh's name was mentioned too! hahaha, so sad he's not there...hahaha...
and but...i did "bring back" smth hm, ahhahaha, cos i was early when i reached National lib, and so i went ard taking photos, and it so happened that they were watering the plants ard the place, and i think i got quite a few really good photos...hehehehe
Jane Goodall's talk...wow
took this photo near the art block 2nd floor...when i came out from darkrm...never thought nj could be so beautiful too..........
this is the photo i took...went all the way to the front...with all the pro uncle photographers
err...me...asking questions...err...not a vrey intelligent move...hahaha, the day before yesterday i went to listen to Doctor Jane Goodall's talk. Jane Goodall is the world's foremost authority on chimpanzees, having closely observed their behavior for the past quarter century in the jungles of the Gombe Game Reserve in Africa, living in the chimps' environment and gaining their confidence. wahahaha, got to know about it through greenlink. And at first when i first heard of this, i was so amazed that the government actually picked NJC instead of other top JCs like HCJC or RJC. anyway, our principal mrs cheng must have tried...err..very hard...REALLY VERY HARD to get Doc Goodall here. and well, we did lose a bit of face becos of the lousy sound system, first there's the nonstopping "tick" sound which led to Doc Goodall's humurous comment :" are you sure it is not a bomb?" wahaha, a cool little old British woman. Marvelous! and then later, when i went up to ask questions, the microphone failed to produce any sound, wad a flop...sigh...and then i have to go all the way to the front to ask her the question. I asked about corruption in Africa, and clearly, she's not at all very happy with my special interest in African corruptions and went on to claim that there's corruptions everywhere, including the richest country on Earth...which...of course, she meant the States. But wad i am thinking about is that, the African governments in Zambia... and Congo and many others are really corrupted to an extent that their own people can be dying out there, due to things as basic as hunger and they themselves can enjoy luxuries such as buying diamonds, gemstones...it's not like the case of china or US where at least, the standard of living has raised or is rising....wadever...nvm... okay, and after asking the question, finally i cant stop the urge...ever since the "quit photog" incident, i have developed this problem...called the "camera phobia", i duno why, just very scared of holding the huge black SLR...then the day before yesterday i smsed jiayi and asked if anyone's taking photo for the talk and he said no. and then...it is when i start to have this dilemma of whether i should go and take photos, cos i might need them for my report but i really dun wana touch cameras right now. So on that day, i went to darkrm and took a nikon cam, i passed it to my senior junying and asked him to take photos, but then he didnt dare to go the the very front together with all photographers from straitstime and sph...so ended up..Doc Goodall's face appeared very small...sigh...then in the end, i juz dashed down with the camera, din care if mrs cheng or whoever is looking at me, at that time the only thing in my mind was"to get nice photos" and in the end, yes i did, though LT5 was quite dark, the lighting is really horrible, i had to use ISO800 and shutterspeed 40...i cant compromise the shutterspeed any furthur cos actually, i should keep it no lower than 60 to prevent hand shake...but nvm...ISO 800...i was so scared that the photos will turn out very grainy but in the end...aft i upload them in darkrm, they appeared to be ok...thank god...and i overcame my "camera phobia"! wahaha ...
and yeah...im a bit worried abt jiayi, he told me he's damn stressed out these few days...on the brink of collapse...it's really quite worrying because he's not a guy who will show his weaknesses or exhuastion easily. and he doesnt like to share his problems and since he dun like it, i wont ask him...but maybe i shld write an encouraging letter to him...yeah...and that's all...afterall im not supposed to be the one who's doing the "most" for him, haha, leave that to his "sweetheart", i think he needs her much more than he needs my help. yeah...but as a friend...im really quite worried, hope he can pull himself together and not be so stressed... :)
Sunday, October 29, 2006
我们之间什么都没有。。。什么都没有。。。没有。。
他和她之间有着那么多，有着属于他们的故事，属于他们的记忆，属于他们的许许多多的第一次，属于他们的许许多多的约定。如果是我先遇到他那该有多好。。他对她真得很深情。。。他为她付出的是无悔的等待。。。我为他付出的却是无悔的成全。她永远是他眼中的女神，而他也永远是我眼中的王子，可是我自己，却又是谁眼中的另一半呢？我和他之间又有些什么呢？我们之间什么都没有，什么都没有，没有没有没有！
如果说让我流泪和那唯一能让我停止哭泣的人是同一个人。。。我该怎么办？
如果说让我流泪和那唯一能让我停止哭泣的人是同一个人。。。我该怎么办？
it's over :)
hehehehe...i think, im finally over him, we are juz friends now, nothing more than friends. and i am perfectly okay now! yes im okay!
Monday, October 23, 2006
Ubin trip again...haha
grp photo again! hahaha...greenlink is juz a big happy family! smiles!:)
Im standing at a very dangerous place...really...at the back of the boat...but it's really cool to let the wind blow ur hair and it juz feel like "wow, i own the world" like that...coolzzz!!
haha...funny photo of mr heah again...i duno why...everytime i take his photo he turned put to be very funny looking...:P
yucks...cos it's gg to rain...so this extrmely long earthworm came out...i screamed when i saw it...then everyone laughed at me again! shit laz!
yaryar...this is the extremely huge caterpilla we saw last sunday in Ubin...scary!
the cocoon of the caterpilla that we saw last sunday...so amazing!
I think they are called the "staining bugs" or something, somehow, they stain the cottons...ha
the dog is eating my notessss!!!!!
i saw the toad while on my way hm...got frightened first...but later i decided to take a photo...photography helped me to overcome my fears...hehehe
Nature is juz cruel, no one can deny that...went Pulau Ubin again...i did a horrible job while trying to introduce people to Artemisia, i did research but apparently, not very enough...never mind...shall do again. And i got another research to do....on Ubin's late village head Mr Lim Chye Joo who just passed away recently at the age of 101....
and yeah...mr heah and mr loh went there too, mr heah is very weird but i always think he dun like me. Cos i think my "rudeness" he cant take it ba. i dun really care, cos i also cant really take his weirdness.
and...karen, agnes, hankiet(spell wrongly i think...sorry) and i ate at Subway...it was very funny, we, the 3 girls, first time there, then we duno how to order...then very embarrassing, but hankiet is very nice, he helped us, but the waiter kept laughing at us...then later we met junying...haha...very funny...we juz kept laughing and laughing lazzzzz...until...hahaha...nvm...i think greenlink is really nice...going out with friends is really the most enjoyble thing on earth man!
对不起，我爱你-爱上你等于爱上寂寞......
谁能修补我已破碎了的心？
昨天和他聊天，终于从他口中得知他真的喜欢另一个女孩子。他说他很喜欢她，只是那女孩并不喜欢他。他曾经尝试告白，但失败了。不知为什么，当时虽然我心里好难过，但我却一直安慰他，告诉他不能放弃，要继续加油，时间久了，那女孩会发现他的好。我不知道那女孩是谁，但我想一定很优秀，不然他不会被她所吸引。只是，看到他伤心我的心也好痛。也许他不知道，虽然对这个世界来讲他只是一个人，但对我来说他可能就是整个世界。。。我没有告诉他我喜欢他。我不想在他已疲惫的心上再加任何负担。我只是想默默地陪着他。。。他对我说，他很喜欢和我交心，他信任我，他向我诉说许许多多的烦恼。。。我只是默默地听着。。。默默地陪着他。。。他说他和我讲话很开心。。。有我这个朋友真好。。。我没有回答，只是回报了一个淡淡的微笑，他看不到我的微笑。。。更看不到我微笑背后的泪水。。。现在才知道。。。原来泪水不但很咸，也，很苦。。。不过我明白，爱是付出而不是回报。。。我愿意以个人付出，一个人伤心，一个人体会寂寞。。。为他付出的那种伤心他永远不会了解。。。
所以，以后只要能远远地看着他的背影，我就会知足了，喜欢他不代表要去拥有他。他的快乐才是最重要的，即便他的快乐需要建立在我的痛苦上，我也会义无反顾地去为他而痛苦。只要他开心就好。他喜欢我做他的朋友，那么我就去做他的朋友，在他身边帮助他。而如果有一天，当他不再需要我的帮助，我会默默地离去，不留一丝痕迹。因为，只要他快乐就好。要他幸福，所以我放手。。爱情的精华也许就在于为了我爱的人而牺牲自己的幸福。只要他能幸福就好。未必永远才是爱的完全，一个人的成全好过三个人兜圈圈。我只有一句：“不后悔的成全”， 我祝福他能找到自己的幸福。
受了伤，伤口不断在流血，但我依然坚强。爱上他等于爱上了寂寞，但这是我的选择！对他，我感到好抱歉，想对他说：“对不起，我爱你！对不起对不起对不起对不起对不起对不起对不起对不起！”
可是。。。为什么。。心好痛?
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Today is a wonderful day!
wahahaha...SINGAPORE BIENNALE 2006! I am hereeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!That is sijie...walking on one of the works...hehehe
This is one of the works...in SAM...isn't scary? i think it is horrifying la!
sijie took a snap at me when i was smsing him, she said that i really look like a woman in love when im smsing him....wad de rubbish...i look NORMAL!
sometimes...SAM can be quite a romantic palce as well...at night maybe...
an artistic shot i got from the fountain at National Art Museum...wahahaha.
haha...im really very happy today. In the afternoon sijie and I and the art class went to see Singapore Biennale at Singapore Museum and Singapore Art Museum. The works there are quite scary, morbid and some are...really disgusting...eh...yeah. I remember there's one work, video, called "the last supper" or something, it's about the last meal for people who are going to be executed, wad they desire to eat before they die, how they treat this issue of "last supper" over the centuries. It was pretty thought provoking but...some parts are disgusting, like...got one part it says that a king survived an attempt of an assassination and then he captured his assasin and his entire family, executed all of them except his eldest daughter, he locked her in a place and tortured her, he odered people to slice off thin pieces of meat from her everyday and then force her to eat her very own meat...err...yucks. well...sometimes...i duno why...i know all these works are very..."deep". as in, they are really conceptual and are able to make you think, but i just couldn't agree with the way they present their ideas. Really, i've been to Tanglin Camp and saw the other works too, and my impression was that they all try to use very extreme ways to "shock" their audience into identifying with their aims or at least, the audience will take a second look. All these just make me feel that our world is no longer normal, people have to use weird, scary means or even extreme measures to communicate with others. why cant we talk, pass on messages in a nice way? why cant we voice our objections, our opinions in a peaceful and gentle manner? sigh...21st century, what has technology, advancement and science brought to us?--the degeneration of human beings. Yes, they do improve our lives, greatly. But, why dehumanise us, they made us less than who we are. They influenced us, they are in control of our world now, not us, imagine the world without machines, can we still survive? think about it, i think im completely destroyed by all these things. THINGS.
ok...yeah, anyway...put that serious topic aside, i smsed him throughout my trip to the museums till dinner time. Apparently his duty was very very boring. haha, he was complaining. anyway...sijie kept teasing me, and then later, i duno if it's because im too involved in "thinking about him", i toppled a whole tray of food, which includes both sijie's and my food. (we ate at burger King :)) ...shit laz, and then xinni, vic, ruifan, winnie and sijie kept teasing me, and words like "flower", "diamond" and wadever...fly ard my head. I was really embarrassed...but...it somehow, feels sweet inside.
haha..and yeah, about my promos, it's unexpectedly well done. The results are damn cool, damn good. I've never thought that i would score so well, taken into consideration that I see his face on every single sheet of paper during all my exams...amazing siah, really, he seems to be pushing force now, pushing me towards better grades. haha...very good. I got BBBCC, really damn good. At least i think so..percentiles wise...except art and hist dropped, others all improved. But hist, i drop from 96% to 71% which is quite depressing, but i want to take H3 Hist, really, and even mr low say i shld. I will try...yeh!! whahaha..and he's the first person i informed aft i got back my result, and then he replied, same as last time, he's like, always very sure that im going to score well...like he knew in advance liaoz...haha...i duno...he's more confident in me than i am in myself. well...art, math, hist got B and lit, GP got C, but my math percentile improved from 68% to 88% and GP from 57% to 67%...not bad lehz! wahaha... hope can stay in B band.
没想到时间会过得这么快，一眨眼，又一年已然要逝去。。。煞然回首。。可谓无限感慨。这一年里，失去了不少但也得到了许多，有悲伤也有喜悦。泪水中掺杂着的是幸福。只能说，我成长了，我明白，成长是需要代价的，但是，我愿意，为这无价的成长经验而付出相等的代价。我付出了，但与此同时，我也有了收获，人生中不是所有的事物都是美好的，但是，只要我能把握住那仅有的些许美好，也许，我的人生，就不会有太多的遗憾。虽然，我仍不快乐。。。人，总是要长大的。有些感觉，是要用心来体会的。虽然，我仍不快乐，但是，我已知足，毕竟，快乐在人的一生中犹如昙花一现，人们往往握不住它们，握不住快乐。然而，当我们静下心来，让心去自我发现，就能体会到，其实，美丽的并不只是快乐而已，有时候，那淡淡的一丝忧伤，会带给我们另一种回味无穷的美妙滋味。。。我，真的，知足了
Friday, October 20, 2006
i like this poem...like the feeling...
Do not stand at my grave and weep
"Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there.
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush,
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at the grave and cry;
I am not there.
I did not die."
- anonymous
Things are happening...a bit too fast for me...(greenlink celebrate bday 4 hongyi)
grp photo with the cake! yeh! one happy family!!!:)
wahaha!!!Mr Loh...is forever funny and blur laz!!!wohohohohahaha!
Mr Heah and Mr Loh playing piano...birthday song for Hongyi...but both failed la! haha!
Hongyi's cake :)Today Greenlink meeting we celebrated Hongyi(our president)'s birthday...supposed to be together with the VP connie also but she wasn't there. Mr Loh bought the cake, it was really nice...chocolate...sometimes i duno why, though Greenlink can be a million or a billion times more peaceful and enjoyable than Photog...i juz tend to focus and concentrate more on PS...maybe because he's there?? i duno...really...but Greenlink is really really nice la...like today...when i say do weeding, then everyone helped..it's really like a family. And the tcher incharge are really nice, friendly, funny, and "can be eaily bullied". really, mr Loh is so blur but nice la, and Mr Heah also...they both tried to play the music of "happy birthday" song for Hongyi but in the end...haha...cannot make it la...very funny...
And well...many things happened and are happening right now...im juz way too busy to blog. the "me and him" thing is developing towards a direction in which i myself..dont really know where. anyway...yeah...the say before Open Day...which is last Friday. We both were in darkroom for a long long long time...i duno how long...but it's really LONG.
so we talked some really random stuff before he started introducing me to some of the funny videos he found on Youtube. i cant quite relate to them cos...yeah...i don't really grow up with such things, my father will never allow me to watch such stuff and naturally, as i grow up...i tend to not to watch such things too. but later, he showed me this MV, a song by 光良, it's about this guy telling the girl that he likes her. Suddenly im like"wow, why is he showing me this??"...i dont want to speculate on this too much but it just kept pulling me towards the thought that he might want to convey some message to me...well...i think i juz think too much laz. and then later the nxt day...aft Open Day...sijie, him and i went for dinner...at first we talked fine...but later when sijie left half way...it suddenly became awkward...we stopped talking for quite a while...sigh...irritating..then yesterday during the exco meeting...sigh...why am i always behaving weirdly in front of him? Even Mr Loh says that everytime i mention his name...i become unnatural and my tone will change...sigh...
And yeah...Promos...i've always believed that i flopped this exam...cos really,"his" face appeared on every single sheet of my question and answer paper laz...i cant concentrate at all...but then...it turned out that i did quite ok, even better than my CT...ok, cant really say better cos i havent got back GP, lit and hist but right now i have 2 Bs alr. one for art and one for math...which was really really good laz. And i promised sijie and ms chan and "him" that if i can get more 2 Bs and above, i will stay in photog..so..yeah..it seems i will be staying...duno it will be a good thing or a bad thing for me. But he got almost all As la..i feel so inferior! anyway...i juz hope...my other subj will turn out juz as fine...hist i did badly but somehow...i juz dun wana see any bad grades for hist...i want to get a C and is looking forward to a B...and Lit i think i juz want a C, GP...D and above? aiya, not so high...maybe juz a pass i will be happy alr.
sigh...why life cant be a bit simpler and easier to deal with??
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Art Promo
well, the art paper is not exactly desirable but, at least, i can still take it. I did questions on identity...again...like i said, our world today is lack of self identity, deprived of individuality.
sigh...but i think my section C is a flop, really. I got the wrong appraoch, but well, i never expected anything good, so it's ok.
Went on a date with karen, we went to DeliFrance to eat dinner, really, i feel that if im going to be left with only one friend on earth, she's gona be the one. Both of us really compliment each other's character, so well that sometimes i wonder if she's my sister. never mind, we are really best friends, we understande each other the best. DO you believe in fate? now, somehow, i feel that we are fated to be friends, destined to help each other.Friends are the family we chose for ourselves.
友情罐头
主原料：谈得来
副原料：合得来
添加物：欢笑加泪水少许
制造日期：认识你的那天起
保存期限：无限期
售价：无价！
on the bus to junction8, i smsed [him] telling him that my exam is finally over. I don't know why i want to send me such an sms, it's really quite random, as in, well, it doesn't really matter to him. but anyway, i just felt like smsing him every single details that happened in my life. And he soon replied. and our smsing continued throughout my dinner. i don't know why, i just felt so happy and excited when received his sms. he asked me if im still bent on leaving the cca, i told him yes but my heart suddenly aches...sigh...im really tortured. today in NJ photog had an exco meeting, and sijie told me she was pissed because of some ****** and *****irritating people acting as president and the puppy of the fake president. there's a useless figurehead in my cca, and it's not tolerable for me to work under him.
sigh..im really tortured by this unrequited love, sijie told me that [he] told her that he doesnt want me to leave but he told me he's ok with it. he's just irritating la.
人都是一边受伤，一边学会坚强。。。
快乐是种心情
它不在天涯
也不在海角
更无须寻找
它就在我们心中
是一种心灵感觉
缘份，是上天所赐的；
快乐，是要自己找的；
欢笑，是朋友带来的；
幸福，是靠自己争取的；
烦恼，是用智慧自解的。
sigh...but i think my section C is a flop, really. I got the wrong appraoch, but well, i never expected anything good, so it's ok.
Went on a date with karen, we went to DeliFrance to eat dinner, really, i feel that if im going to be left with only one friend on earth, she's gona be the one. Both of us really compliment each other's character, so well that sometimes i wonder if she's my sister. never mind, we are really best friends, we understande each other the best. DO you believe in fate? now, somehow, i feel that we are fated to be friends, destined to help each other.Friends are the family we chose for ourselves.
友情罐头
主原料：谈得来
副原料：合得来
添加物：欢笑加泪水少许
制造日期：认识你的那天起
保存期限：无限期
售价：无价！
on the bus to junction8, i smsed [him] telling him that my exam is finally over. I don't know why i want to send me such an sms, it's really quite random, as in, well, it doesn't really matter to him. but anyway, i just felt like smsing him every single details that happened in my life. And he soon replied. and our smsing continued throughout my dinner. i don't know why, i just felt so happy and excited when received his sms. he asked me if im still bent on leaving the cca, i told him yes but my heart suddenly aches...sigh...im really tortured. today in NJ photog had an exco meeting, and sijie told me she was pissed because of some ****** and *****irritating people acting as president and the puppy of the fake president. there's a useless figurehead in my cca, and it's not tolerable for me to work under him.
sigh..im really tortured by this unrequited love, sijie told me that [he] told her that he doesnt want me to leave but he told me he's ok with it. he's just irritating la.
人都是一边受伤，一边学会坚强。。。
快乐是种心情
它不在天涯
也不在海角
更无须寻找
它就在我们心中
是一种心灵感觉
缘份，是上天所赐的；
快乐，是要自己找的；
欢笑，是朋友带来的；
幸福，是靠自己争取的；
烦恼，是用智慧自解的。
Thursday, October 05, 2006
A Bildungsroman
Things in life can be quite funny sometimes, the moment when i step out of the examination hall, i remembered this word "Bildungsroman", i wanted to write it in my Lit essay but can't recall how to spell it.
Sigh...true, Great Expectations is a book about the life of Pip, his developments in life. From a superficial ignorant boy to a true gentleman, it took him more than 20 years to realise what is the most important thing in life. Only when he became an adult and sees the ugliness of the society did he finally understood what are the things he should treasure. Not money, not status, but the love from others. And only when you give out love, can you receive it in return. One who was not a gentleman at heart was never a gentleman in manners. In the book, Pip grows and learns...but me...after reading the book and doing the exam felt that i learned much more. Lit really is not subject for emotional people to show off their powerful language...it's a subject that requires understanding, a deep understanding of the society and the inherent flaws that exist in it. We live in a society where the advancement of technology is inversely related to the evolution of man's character and values, the more technologically advanced we are, the more dehumanised we become. Paper one was a poem, 20th century poem, which talks about the idea of dehumanisation, lack of privacy, conformity and the loss of individuality in today's society, how human can be judged like "a thing" using surveys and statistics. Im a bit disturbed by the poem... spent quite a long time thinking about the question of life in today's society and had no time to really tackle the stylistic features, i predict i might fail this lit promo exam, but...somehow, it's a nicer feeling compared to Hist...yes i didn't do well, but somewhere in my mind, it tells me that i've learnt something really important about life.
LIFE, YOU NEED WARMTH AND LOVE.
That's all, a simple idea that not many people would come to realise it until the day they lose the meaning of life, because, they throw away their love.
Mankind cannot bear very much reality...sigh....
The Poem:
The Unkown Citizen
By W.H Auden
(to JS/07 M 378 This Marble Monument Is Erected by the State)
He was found by the Bureau of Statistics to be
One against whom there was no official complaint,
And all the reports in his conduct agree
That, in the modern sense of an old-fashioned word, he was a saint,
For in everything he did he served the Greater Community.
Except for the war till the day he retired
He worked in a factory and never got fired,
But satisfied his employers, Fudge Motors Inc.
Yet he wasn't a scab or odd in his views,
For his Union reports that he paid his dues,
(our report on his Union shows it was sound)
And our Social Psychology workers found
That he was popular with his mates and liked a drink.
The Press are convinced that he bought a paper every day
And that his reactions to advertisements were normal in everyway.
Policies taken out in his name prove that he was fully insured,
And his Health-card shows he was once in a hospital but left it cured.
Both Producers Research and High-Grade Living declare
He was fully sensible to the advantages of the Instalment Plan
And had everything necessary to the Modern Man,
A phonograph, a radio, a car and a frigidaire.
Our researchers into Public Opinion are content
That he held the proper opinions for the time of yeah;
When there was peace, he was for peace: when there was war, he went.
He was married and added five children to the population,
Which our Eugenist says was the right number for a parent of his generation.
And our teachers report that he never interfered with their education.
Was he free? Was he happy? The question is absurd:
Had anything been wrong, we should certainly have heard.
Sigh...true, Great Expectations is a book about the life of Pip, his developments in life. From a superficial ignorant boy to a true gentleman, it took him more than 20 years to realise what is the most important thing in life. Only when he became an adult and sees the ugliness of the society did he finally understood what are the things he should treasure. Not money, not status, but the love from others. And only when you give out love, can you receive it in return. One who was not a gentleman at heart was never a gentleman in manners. In the book, Pip grows and learns...but me...after reading the book and doing the exam felt that i learned much more. Lit really is not subject for emotional people to show off their powerful language...it's a subject that requires understanding, a deep understanding of the society and the inherent flaws that exist in it. We live in a society where the advancement of technology is inversely related to the evolution of man's character and values, the more technologically advanced we are, the more dehumanised we become. Paper one was a poem, 20th century poem, which talks about the idea of dehumanisation, lack of privacy, conformity and the loss of individuality in today's society, how human can be judged like "a thing" using surveys and statistics. Im a bit disturbed by the poem... spent quite a long time thinking about the question of life in today's society and had no time to really tackle the stylistic features, i predict i might fail this lit promo exam, but...somehow, it's a nicer feeling compared to Hist...yes i didn't do well, but somewhere in my mind, it tells me that i've learnt something really important about life.
LIFE, YOU NEED WARMTH AND LOVE.
That's all, a simple idea that not many people would come to realise it until the day they lose the meaning of life, because, they throw away their love.
Mankind cannot bear very much reality...sigh....
The Poem:
The Unkown Citizen
By W.H Auden
(to JS/07 M 378 This Marble Monument Is Erected by the State)
He was found by the Bureau of Statistics to be
One against whom there was no official complaint,
And all the reports in his conduct agree
That, in the modern sense of an old-fashioned word, he was a saint,
For in everything he did he served the Greater Community.
Except for the war till the day he retired
He worked in a factory and never got fired,
But satisfied his employers, Fudge Motors Inc.
Yet he wasn't a scab or odd in his views,
For his Union reports that he paid his dues,
(our report on his Union shows it was sound)
And our Social Psychology workers found
That he was popular with his mates and liked a drink.
The Press are convinced that he bought a paper every day
And that his reactions to advertisements were normal in everyway.
Policies taken out in his name prove that he was fully insured,
And his Health-card shows he was once in a hospital but left it cured.
Both Producers Research and High-Grade Living declare
He was fully sensible to the advantages of the Instalment Plan
And had everything necessary to the Modern Man,
A phonograph, a radio, a car and a frigidaire.
Our researchers into Public Opinion are content
That he held the proper opinions for the time of yeah;
When there was peace, he was for peace: when there was war, he went.
He was married and added five children to the population,
Which our Eugenist says was the right number for a parent of his generation.
And our teachers report that he never interfered with their education.
Was he free? Was he happy? The question is absurd:
Had anything been wrong, we should certainly have heard.
A True Story...
Saw this on Winston's blog, it was really...i don't know what to say, but i really did touch me. I really felt like hugging the guy. And...i tried imagining myself being in that situation...i don't know if i will have the courage to...well...it's really a great story...read on!
[The True Story]
I'd been living in London when my world turned upside down and I'd had to come home. By the time my plane landed back in Sydney, all I had left was a carry on bag full of clothes and a world of troubles. No one to welcome me back, no place to call home. I was a tourist in my hometown. Standing there in the arrivals terminal, watching other passengers meeting their waiting friends and family, with open arms and smiling faces, hugging and laughing together, I wanted someone out there to be waiting for me. To be happy to see me. To smile at me. To hug me. So I got some cardboard and a marker and made a sign. I found the busiest pedestrian intersection in the city and held that sign aloft, with the words "Free Hugs" on both sides.And for 15 minutes, people just stared right through me. The first person who stopped, tapped me on the shoulder and told me how her dog had just died that morning. How that morning had been the one year anniversary of her only daughter dying in a car accident. How what she needed now, when she felt most alone in the world, was a hug. I got down on one knee, we put our arms around each other and when we parted, she was smiling. Everyone has problems and for sure mine haven't compared. But to see someone who was once frowning, smile even for a moment, is worth it every time.
GO:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4&eurl=
his website.....
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=115308004
[The True Story]
I'd been living in London when my world turned upside down and I'd had to come home. By the time my plane landed back in Sydney, all I had left was a carry on bag full of clothes and a world of troubles. No one to welcome me back, no place to call home. I was a tourist in my hometown. Standing there in the arrivals terminal, watching other passengers meeting their waiting friends and family, with open arms and smiling faces, hugging and laughing together, I wanted someone out there to be waiting for me. To be happy to see me. To smile at me. To hug me. So I got some cardboard and a marker and made a sign. I found the busiest pedestrian intersection in the city and held that sign aloft, with the words "Free Hugs" on both sides.And for 15 minutes, people just stared right through me. The first person who stopped, tapped me on the shoulder and told me how her dog had just died that morning. How that morning had been the one year anniversary of her only daughter dying in a car accident. How what she needed now, when she felt most alone in the world, was a hug. I got down on one knee, we put our arms around each other and when we parted, she was smiling. Everyone has problems and for sure mine haven't compared. But to see someone who was once frowning, smile even for a moment, is worth it every time.
GO:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4&eurl=
his website.....
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=115308004
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
My Hist sank all the way to the bottom....
I cant believe i did so badly for my supposedly best subj. i got quite good for hist for common test, one mark away from a B, 96% in level. and now, it's gone, it's really gone.
I did question 2,4,6,8...i didnt know i love even numbers so much... anyway...
2)"Nationalist movements were less likely to achieve a speedy independence in countries with conservative colonialists" To what extent is this staement true?
4) "Maximum government struxtures were more successful than parliamentry structures in addressing the problems faced by the independent Southeast Asian States." To what extent do you agree with this statement?
6)"The Cuban Missile Crisis occurred because of the exaggerated freas of all parties involve" How far do you agree?
8) "It was Gorbachev, armed with his" New Political Thinking", who was mainly responsible for the peaceful ending of the Cold War". Discuss.
Im so screwed, i didnt even read Cuban Missile Crisis, and i don't know what is Gorbachev's "New Political Thinking" and I forgot that word "structure" in question 4 which indicated that the success was because of the "structure" itself, so it excluded the ability and execution of the various governments. and the speedy independence question i didnt present both sides. actually, i didnt present both sides for almost all my answers, im just very dead this time. Sigh...what happened to me???
I did question 2,4,6,8...i didnt know i love even numbers so much... anyway...
2)"Nationalist movements were less likely to achieve a speedy independence in countries with conservative colonialists" To what extent is this staement true?
4) "Maximum government struxtures were more successful than parliamentry structures in addressing the problems faced by the independent Southeast Asian States." To what extent do you agree with this statement?
6)"The Cuban Missile Crisis occurred because of the exaggerated freas of all parties involve" How far do you agree?
8) "It was Gorbachev, armed with his" New Political Thinking", who was mainly responsible for the peaceful ending of the Cold War". Discuss.
Im so screwed, i didnt even read Cuban Missile Crisis, and i don't know what is Gorbachev's "New Political Thinking" and I forgot that word "structure" in question 4 which indicated that the success was because of the "structure" itself, so it excluded the ability and execution of the various governments. and the speedy independence question i didnt present both sides. actually, i didnt present both sides for almost all my answers, im just very dead this time. Sigh...what happened to me???
Sunday, October 01, 2006
I love u too lydia!
got the questions from lydia's blog...mmmm..interesting, shall attempt answering them myself, since im so bored, i cant continue my revision ever since i finished math exam, it tells me that no matter how much u study, u'll still fail, and for lit, hist and art, practically you count on ur luck on whether u'll score, cos if u get the question u got a lot to write, u r safe, if not, gone case for u, i was lucky for Common test for math but unlucky for lit, this time, i duno, perhaps...unlucky for both???and im giving up on art, no more passion...sian...it's not something that i wana see...but realli, no more passion...
yeah..by the way..i love you too my lydia!!! thanks for all the encouragement...thanks....i think i will survive this...even if im hurt i will survive...and i dun think he will ever hurt me delibrately...he a good guy...i think only i will hurt myself...do u think he ever even considers me important in his life??sigh...i duno...
1) Single, taken or crushing?
crushing i guess...sigh...
2) Are you happy with your life now?
yeah, i have great friends in both cca and class and school, tchers are generally nice, studies up till now ok, aft promos duno, sph also got lots of friends...just the "him" thing is torturing me, but i guess im both suffering and enjoying at the same time...haha
3) When you meet the right person, do you fall in love with him fast?
pretty fast, i think so...erm...wait...still need to observe for a while first...cos u wont know if he's the right one or not what...
4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
no, not yet, i hope never will...
5) Do you believe there are some circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?
NO, NEVER, UNFORGIVABLE!
6) Would you take someone back if he cheats on you?
LET HIM DREAM ON, NO, NEVER, THAT'S MY BOTTOM LINE, OVER MY DEAD BODY, I HATE BEING CHEATED, I WILL BE HONEST TO HIM SO SHLD HE.
7) Have you talk about marriage with another before?
erm...wedding i think...marriage...maybe got before...but cant really remember
8) Do you want children?
erm...depends...right now no....
9) How many?
at most 1
10) Would you consider adoption?
NO
11) If someone likes you right now,what do you think is the best way to let you know his feelings?
tell me straight, or write a letter...
12) Do you enjoy getting into relationship?
ok la
13) Be honest,what is the furthest you and your ex did?
...kiss
14) Do you believe in love at first sight?
NO
15) Are you romantic?
i guess the answer is yes...but sometimes im not
16) Do you believe you can change someone?
i duno, i think i do have a very strong character, im the domineering type, so most probably i will change someone without me realising it...
17) If you could get married somewhere, where would it be?
France...Paris...outside Louvre...or may be at some palce where there's lots of green grass...lake...flowers...butterflies...and only the two of us...haha
18) Do you easily give in when you are fighting?
i never give up easily in doing anything
19) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
YES! STRONG FEELING..but he has no feelings for me i guess...sigh
21) Have you ever broken a heart?
yes.
22) If one day your best friend falls in love with the guy you deeply in love with, what would you do?
i duno, that's horrible...but i guess it will never happen, my best friends and i never like the same thing before, we usually are very different kind of people, and...yeah...but i guess im not the type who will give up the one i love. but, it depends on HIS opinion, if they love each other, then of course i will wish them happiness, but if he loves, then it's another story altogether...
23) Are you missing someone now?
YES, i miss him terribly! and i miss mr low, the 2005 artyfarty ppl,and my grandma...but the most intense feeling is dedicated to HIM, and HIM only!
sigh................life..............dilemma.........
yeah..by the way..i love you too my lydia!!! thanks for all the encouragement...thanks....i think i will survive this...even if im hurt i will survive...and i dun think he will ever hurt me delibrately...he a good guy...i think only i will hurt myself...do u think he ever even considers me important in his life??sigh...i duno...
1) Single, taken or crushing?
crushing i guess...sigh...
2) Are you happy with your life now?
yeah, i have great friends in both cca and class and school, tchers are generally nice, studies up till now ok, aft promos duno, sph also got lots of friends...just the "him" thing is torturing me, but i guess im both suffering and enjoying at the same time...haha
3) When you meet the right person, do you fall in love with him fast?
pretty fast, i think so...erm...wait...still need to observe for a while first...cos u wont know if he's the right one or not what...
4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
no, not yet, i hope never will...
5) Do you believe there are some circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?
NO, NEVER, UNFORGIVABLE!
6) Would you take someone back if he cheats on you?
LET HIM DREAM ON, NO, NEVER, THAT'S MY BOTTOM LINE, OVER MY DEAD BODY, I HATE BEING CHEATED, I WILL BE HONEST TO HIM SO SHLD HE.
7) Have you talk about marriage with another before?
erm...wedding i think...marriage...maybe got before...but cant really remember
8) Do you want children?
erm...depends...right now no....
9) How many?
at most 1
10) Would you consider adoption?
NO
11) If someone likes you right now,what do you think is the best way to let you know his feelings?
tell me straight, or write a letter...
12) Do you enjoy getting into relationship?
ok la
13) Be honest,what is the furthest you and your ex did?
...kiss
14) Do you believe in love at first sight?
NO
15) Are you romantic?
i guess the answer is yes...but sometimes im not
16) Do you believe you can change someone?
i duno, i think i do have a very strong character, im the domineering type, so most probably i will change someone without me realising it...
17) If you could get married somewhere, where would it be?
France...Paris...outside Louvre...or may be at some palce where there's lots of green grass...lake...flowers...butterflies...and only the two of us...haha
18) Do you easily give in when you are fighting?
i never give up easily in doing anything
19) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
YES! STRONG FEELING..but he has no feelings for me i guess...sigh
21) Have you ever broken a heart?
yes.
22) If one day your best friend falls in love with the guy you deeply in love with, what would you do?
i duno, that's horrible...but i guess it will never happen, my best friends and i never like the same thing before, we usually are very different kind of people, and...yeah...but i guess im not the type who will give up the one i love. but, it depends on HIS opinion, if they love each other, then of course i will wish them happiness, but if he loves, then it's another story altogether...
23) Are you missing someone now?
YES, i miss him terribly! and i miss mr low, the 2005 artyfarty ppl,and my grandma...but the most intense feeling is dedicated to HIM, and HIM only!
sigh................life..............dilemma.........
Friday, September 29, 2006
horoscope and wang mo...i still love him!!!
今天的数学真的考砸了，有40多分的题没做，就更别提做错的了。我从没像今天考完这样害怕过。这次真的是栽了。这次我真的是跑神了，不论是在学业，生活还是爱情方面都跑神了。可气的是，国初从没有moderation的习惯！也不知道为什么，考完之后很害怕，又很伤心，就给他发了个短信，忘了他还在上课，不过他还是马上发了回来，他跟我说不要担心，要往好的方面看，从另一个角度看事物，要想：不管怎么样，数学总算是考完了。
也不知道为什么，他的话总是听起来很有道理，看到他的短信心里就好受多了，踏实了。他说话做事真的不像是比我小，哈，倒是我做起事来特别不稳重，整天多愁善感，疯疯癫癫的。他总是能容忍我，体谅我，照顾我。真不知道我是哪根筋不对了，之前还一直不理他，还要跟他绝交，就算只是普通朋友，他也算是那种“钻石”级别的，会为我着想的超级好人，我老是犯傻。
之前不和他讲话的那一阵真的很难熬，我们见面很尴尬，两人都想要打招呼又没说出口，但又不愿意假装看不到（不知道为啥我们俩谁都不能做到漠视对方，见面时老是呆呆地对望一下，然后尴尬地走过彼此）。不知道他是怎么想的，反正我是真的有些受不了。本来他msn nickname 从来都只是[jiayi]，自从我们停止说话之后，开始有了别的字句，一开始是“时间能使人忘掉一切，甚至一些不想忘记的东西。”后来变成：“Does it ever matter to you?-Im not bleeding but it realli hurts here”也许我有些敏感吧，但我总是觉得他有些受伤了。
我其实是个很缺乏安全感的女孩，去年mr low就对我说过，他说我并没有我自己想象中那样坚强。真的，我明白的。我是个外表很强硬，内心却很脆弱的女孩儿。我表面上对男生们很“狠”，好像一个女权主义者似的，但我内心是渴望着浪漫美好爱情的。因为我是双鱼座女孩嘛。最近很迷星座之类的东西，唉，我终于像其他女孩子一样落俗套了。爱情的魔力！真的，你看准不准，我觉得挺准的。
双鱼白羊座：新生的交界
3/19-3/24
黄道宫位置：约在双鱼座27度-白羊座4度
季节：冬末初春(春分)
元素：水、火
主宰行星：海王星、火星
象征符号：鱼、公羊
理解事物的方式：感受、直觉
双鱼白羊融合了黄道12宫的最后一宫双鱼座，和第一宫白羊座的特征，这一段时间可比拟为人类刚出生的阶段，它字面上的意义正代表着星象学里新生的开始，因此，双鱼白羊可说是代表重生、新生的区间。许多文明地区都将春分视为一年开始(在北半球大约是3月21日)。各种不同语言中表示春天的字，也都特别强调此意，例如：意大利文的primavera、法文的printemps、荷兰文的voorjaar。从这里便可看出先人对周年循环的卓越见解与智能，星象学家和先人大多不将1月1日当做一年的起始，反而把春分，也就是3月21日，当做新的一年的第一天。
在这一周出生的人，不仅拥有双鱼座爱幻想、做梦、安静及敏感的特性，同时也表现出白羊座率直、暴躁易怒的个性。
他们处理生活的方式非常率直，这样的坦率虽然颇受他人赞赏，却也常遭人误解。他们是崇尚基本、原始的人，虽然也都自认为用了最简单、清楚的方式来看待事物，但是熟识他们的人，却常将他们形容成不切实际的幻想家，无法处理世俗生活的真实面。他们表面上看起来十分率真直接，实际上却相当敏感、冲动，甚至焦躁不安。因此，他们虽然是实践家，却也是不折不扣的梦想家。
出生在这个区间的人经常会遭到误会。事实上，双鱼白羊的人除了心思单纯外，在贡献时间和金钱方面，也颇慷慨、大方，可惜往往在别人发觉这项优点之前，他们早就被认定为太高傲，所以其施舍的态度反而会使得接受的人忿怒不已，这点总让双鱼白羊的人感到十分为难，甚至因此受到伤害。不幸的是，这种情形在他们的生活中屡见不爽。事实上，他们表现得越直接、简单，别人对他们动机的误解也越深。
此外，他们快速的理解力和凭直觉、预感行事的作风，也往往会招惹行动较慢者的反抗。但是别人的反应对他们的影响并不大，顶多令他们感到不耐烦而已。因此，在团体中，他们必须学会克制自己的急性子，多聆听别人的建议，舒缓自己的行事步调，配合团体的节奏。总之，这一周出生的人必须学会在发言、行动前先仔细衡量后果；如此一来，他们的逻辑能力将变得更具说
服力，严密的态度也会叫人刮目相看。
纵使他们从别人的反应中，知道自己的某些行为不甚妥当，但是一般而言，双鱼白羊的人都会拒绝改变。他们无法真正看清自己言行的缺点或错误，在他们自己的眼中，他们只是凭直觉做事而已。于是不论是否遭受阻力，他们总是我行我素。
双鱼白羊很难面对或处理失败。在他们的字典中，没有“失败”这两个字，因此，一旦遭遇困难和挫折，便会显得很困惑、不知所措。他们防御失败的能力很强；不过，他们免除挫折的方法便是拒绝去承认。他们不致于不切实际到将失败看成胜利，他们只是常把失败当做胜利之前的小挫折，认为这是暂时将胜利的时间稍微延后而已。
一般人可以经由学习来跟双鱼白羊的人好好相处。其中的一个准则是：千万别探究他们的动机，或是强迫他们去解释。另外，也别去分析他们的人格特质，或要求他们自我分析。善用例子鼓励他们客观看待自己，要比训诫他们有效多了。这不表示双鱼白羊的人无法从错误中学到教训，只是必须时时有人鼓励他们如此努力下去。
跟双鱼白羊的人相处，还有一项更简单的方法，那就是按照他们的意思做事--至少在他们面前如此。不要在他们兴致勃勃时泼他们冷水，尝试稍后再提出更好的意见，他们就会接受。认同双鱼白羊的冲劲、预感和行动力是一件很重要的事，用忠告或建议来否定他们的直觉，只会使他们自动疏远你。爱扫兴和挫折他们动力的人，是很难和他们长久和乐共处的。
双鱼白羊可以算是对感情忠诚的人，可是他们的忠诚，并不是一般认知的一对一的那种。他们可以深深地、热情地爱人，投注许多注意力在爱侣的身上，可惜却无法长期忠于一人。他们无法抗拒新刺激的诱惑。一般来讲，他们会期许伴侣能扮演更稳固或长期隐忍的角色，可是，他们不会要求伴侣也遵守一夫一妻制的忠诚关系。从很多案例来看，双方都抱持较开放的态度，会有助于彼此间关系的发展，因为这样可减轻自己轻率行为所引发的罪恶感。
大抵而言，双鱼白羊在为人父母后，会比孩提时期表现得好。他们对子孙的忠诚度和责任感，远高于自己年轻时对长辈的表现。家庭对这些十分独立的人具有强烈的意义，而且，所谓的“家庭”，就广义而言，还包括了朋友和同事
优点：率直、热情、直觉强烈
缺点：易遭人误会、缺乏耐性、不切实际
建议最重要的课题是学着培养耐性。经由与别人共事的机会，建立社交技巧。控制自己的鲁莽和急性子，慎重拿捏尺寸。多认识自己。
怎么样？和我很像吧？有时候有些东西真的很难说。。。我不清楚他对我的看法，他总是游刃于清楚和模糊之间。当我觉得他不喜欢我的时候，周围的朋友却对我说他其实对我比对别人特别。在画UOB的那段时间，我总是在暗房外面画，有几次他就会蹲在我旁边看着我画，一边看一边和我聊天。后来慧敏看到了，他对我说他的举动是很不寻常的，因为第一，普通人不会看着普通朋友画画看那么久，第二他是个惜时如金的人，那么个大忙人要不是对我有特别情感是不会浪费时间看我画画的。第三，同时那么多人正在画画，为什么只看我？可是，虽然慧敏这样说，我还是不肯定，我们俩在一起讲话时很random，什么都聊。。。有一次很尴尬。我们聊着聊着就说到了长大后的志向。他说他想要当医生。我说：“那完了，咱们路不同不相为谋”，谁知他突然接着说：“我又没说我要娶个医生当老婆！”当时我突然觉得心跳加速，然后不知怎的就说了句让我后悔的话：“你想到哪里去啦，我说的是做朋友啦！”天哪老师，我都不知道要怎么样好了。后来我们彼此沉默了好久，好尴尬哦！还有几次，快要考试了，我总是待在暗房里读书。他也来，那时暗房里只有我们俩，我们从两点一只学到六点，知道他妈妈来接他，有说有笑的。后来从别的执委那里听说原来他以前并不会去暗房读书的。。。后来我跟他“断交”了，此之后我就不再去暗房了，却发现他也不出现在那里了。之后的他不是在图书馆就是再canteen里学习。星期二那天，碰巧我也在canteen读书，他放课之后大约快五点了，就坐在canteen里学习，谁知道他偏偏就坐在了我对面，正对面，但是中间隔了十多行，可是因为那时挺晚的了，又是考试期间，canteen几乎没人，所以我们俩就这样尴尬地，离得很远却又面对面地读书，中间没有一个人！那种气氛，我差点没窒息喽！后来我不知道是不是他也感到不舒服，第二天我还在同样的位子读书，就没看到他，可就那么巧，我的朋友在图书馆看到他，和前一天同一时间，但他却选择了去图书馆读书，因为之前他又看到我还在canteen.
“不说话”之后两人倒是见面的次数越来越多了，昨天我真的是忍不住了，一直被朋友们骂，终于我给他发了个email，向他道歉，并告诉他我是个性格上有很多缺点的人，所以是不是要继续当我的朋友要考虑清楚。谁知他竟然很快就会了信，大约在五分钟之内吧。以下是他的回信的内容：
haha, yeah, we will talk next time right? haha, at least a hi((:
anyways, good luck for ur promos, and i just got back my chinese paper, i din fail((: more than half of the cohort failed.
all the best for promos
男生们是不是都这样，懵懵懂懂的？我总是觉得，女生们想得太多，而男生们却想得太少！而他们并不能在现阶段进入一段真正的感情。而且嘉易又是个很稳中，很成熟，很顾大局的男孩。我想他应该是那种会将学业和事业放为前提和重心的人。所以我的希望很小吧。。。可是我就是不能忘了他，怎么都不行。唉，人在自残的时候谁都不会后悔，直到痛彻心肺。。。他是我的世界的全部，我却不知道自己在他的世界里是属于哪一个角落，扮演着什么样的角色。。。真的没了自我了。。。
if who i am is what i have and what i have is lost, then, who am i?
也不知道为什么，他的话总是听起来很有道理，看到他的短信心里就好受多了，踏实了。他说话做事真的不像是比我小，哈，倒是我做起事来特别不稳重，整天多愁善感，疯疯癫癫的。他总是能容忍我，体谅我，照顾我。真不知道我是哪根筋不对了，之前还一直不理他，还要跟他绝交，就算只是普通朋友，他也算是那种“钻石”级别的，会为我着想的超级好人，我老是犯傻。
之前不和他讲话的那一阵真的很难熬，我们见面很尴尬，两人都想要打招呼又没说出口，但又不愿意假装看不到（不知道为啥我们俩谁都不能做到漠视对方，见面时老是呆呆地对望一下，然后尴尬地走过彼此）。不知道他是怎么想的，反正我是真的有些受不了。本来他msn nickname 从来都只是[jiayi]，自从我们停止说话之后，开始有了别的字句，一开始是“时间能使人忘掉一切，甚至一些不想忘记的东西。”后来变成：“Does it ever matter to you?-Im not bleeding but it realli hurts here”也许我有些敏感吧，但我总是觉得他有些受伤了。
我其实是个很缺乏安全感的女孩，去年mr low就对我说过，他说我并没有我自己想象中那样坚强。真的，我明白的。我是个外表很强硬，内心却很脆弱的女孩儿。我表面上对男生们很“狠”，好像一个女权主义者似的，但我内心是渴望着浪漫美好爱情的。因为我是双鱼座女孩嘛。最近很迷星座之类的东西，唉，我终于像其他女孩子一样落俗套了。爱情的魔力！真的，你看准不准，我觉得挺准的。
双鱼白羊座：新生的交界
3/19-3/24
黄道宫位置：约在双鱼座27度-白羊座4度
季节：冬末初春(春分)
元素：水、火
主宰行星：海王星、火星
象征符号：鱼、公羊
理解事物的方式：感受、直觉
双鱼白羊融合了黄道12宫的最后一宫双鱼座，和第一宫白羊座的特征，这一段时间可比拟为人类刚出生的阶段，它字面上的意义正代表着星象学里新生的开始，因此，双鱼白羊可说是代表重生、新生的区间。许多文明地区都将春分视为一年开始(在北半球大约是3月21日)。各种不同语言中表示春天的字，也都特别强调此意，例如：意大利文的primavera、法文的printemps、荷兰文的voorjaar。从这里便可看出先人对周年循环的卓越见解与智能，星象学家和先人大多不将1月1日当做一年的起始，反而把春分，也就是3月21日，当做新的一年的第一天。
在这一周出生的人，不仅拥有双鱼座爱幻想、做梦、安静及敏感的特性，同时也表现出白羊座率直、暴躁易怒的个性。
他们处理生活的方式非常率直，这样的坦率虽然颇受他人赞赏，却也常遭人误解。他们是崇尚基本、原始的人，虽然也都自认为用了最简单、清楚的方式来看待事物，但是熟识他们的人，却常将他们形容成不切实际的幻想家，无法处理世俗生活的真实面。他们表面上看起来十分率真直接，实际上却相当敏感、冲动，甚至焦躁不安。因此，他们虽然是实践家，却也是不折不扣的梦想家。
出生在这个区间的人经常会遭到误会。事实上，双鱼白羊的人除了心思单纯外，在贡献时间和金钱方面，也颇慷慨、大方，可惜往往在别人发觉这项优点之前，他们早就被认定为太高傲，所以其施舍的态度反而会使得接受的人忿怒不已，这点总让双鱼白羊的人感到十分为难，甚至因此受到伤害。不幸的是，这种情形在他们的生活中屡见不爽。事实上，他们表现得越直接、简单，别人对他们动机的误解也越深。
此外，他们快速的理解力和凭直觉、预感行事的作风，也往往会招惹行动较慢者的反抗。但是别人的反应对他们的影响并不大，顶多令他们感到不耐烦而已。因此，在团体中，他们必须学会克制自己的急性子，多聆听别人的建议，舒缓自己的行事步调，配合团体的节奏。总之，这一周出生的人必须学会在发言、行动前先仔细衡量后果；如此一来，他们的逻辑能力将变得更具说
服力，严密的态度也会叫人刮目相看。
纵使他们从别人的反应中，知道自己的某些行为不甚妥当，但是一般而言，双鱼白羊的人都会拒绝改变。他们无法真正看清自己言行的缺点或错误，在他们自己的眼中，他们只是凭直觉做事而已。于是不论是否遭受阻力，他们总是我行我素。
双鱼白羊很难面对或处理失败。在他们的字典中，没有“失败”这两个字，因此，一旦遭遇困难和挫折，便会显得很困惑、不知所措。他们防御失败的能力很强；不过，他们免除挫折的方法便是拒绝去承认。他们不致于不切实际到将失败看成胜利，他们只是常把失败当做胜利之前的小挫折，认为这是暂时将胜利的时间稍微延后而已。
一般人可以经由学习来跟双鱼白羊的人好好相处。其中的一个准则是：千万别探究他们的动机，或是强迫他们去解释。另外，也别去分析他们的人格特质，或要求他们自我分析。善用例子鼓励他们客观看待自己，要比训诫他们有效多了。这不表示双鱼白羊的人无法从错误中学到教训，只是必须时时有人鼓励他们如此努力下去。
跟双鱼白羊的人相处，还有一项更简单的方法，那就是按照他们的意思做事--至少在他们面前如此。不要在他们兴致勃勃时泼他们冷水，尝试稍后再提出更好的意见，他们就会接受。认同双鱼白羊的冲劲、预感和行动力是一件很重要的事，用忠告或建议来否定他们的直觉，只会使他们自动疏远你。爱扫兴和挫折他们动力的人，是很难和他们长久和乐共处的。
双鱼白羊可以算是对感情忠诚的人，可是他们的忠诚，并不是一般认知的一对一的那种。他们可以深深地、热情地爱人，投注许多注意力在爱侣的身上，可惜却无法长期忠于一人。他们无法抗拒新刺激的诱惑。一般来讲，他们会期许伴侣能扮演更稳固或长期隐忍的角色，可是，他们不会要求伴侣也遵守一夫一妻制的忠诚关系。从很多案例来看，双方都抱持较开放的态度，会有助于彼此间关系的发展，因为这样可减轻自己轻率行为所引发的罪恶感。
大抵而言，双鱼白羊在为人父母后，会比孩提时期表现得好。他们对子孙的忠诚度和责任感，远高于自己年轻时对长辈的表现。家庭对这些十分独立的人具有强烈的意义，而且，所谓的“家庭”，就广义而言，还包括了朋友和同事
优点：率直、热情、直觉强烈
缺点：易遭人误会、缺乏耐性、不切实际
建议最重要的课题是学着培养耐性。经由与别人共事的机会，建立社交技巧。控制自己的鲁莽和急性子，慎重拿捏尺寸。多认识自己。
怎么样？和我很像吧？有时候有些东西真的很难说。。。我不清楚他对我的看法，他总是游刃于清楚和模糊之间。当我觉得他不喜欢我的时候，周围的朋友却对我说他其实对我比对别人特别。在画UOB的那段时间，我总是在暗房外面画，有几次他就会蹲在我旁边看着我画，一边看一边和我聊天。后来慧敏看到了，他对我说他的举动是很不寻常的，因为第一，普通人不会看着普通朋友画画看那么久，第二他是个惜时如金的人，那么个大忙人要不是对我有特别情感是不会浪费时间看我画画的。第三，同时那么多人正在画画，为什么只看我？可是，虽然慧敏这样说，我还是不肯定，我们俩在一起讲话时很random，什么都聊。。。有一次很尴尬。我们聊着聊着就说到了长大后的志向。他说他想要当医生。我说：“那完了，咱们路不同不相为谋”，谁知他突然接着说：“我又没说我要娶个医生当老婆！”当时我突然觉得心跳加速，然后不知怎的就说了句让我后悔的话：“你想到哪里去啦，我说的是做朋友啦！”天哪老师，我都不知道要怎么样好了。后来我们彼此沉默了好久，好尴尬哦！还有几次，快要考试了，我总是待在暗房里读书。他也来，那时暗房里只有我们俩，我们从两点一只学到六点，知道他妈妈来接他，有说有笑的。后来从别的执委那里听说原来他以前并不会去暗房读书的。。。后来我跟他“断交”了，此之后我就不再去暗房了，却发现他也不出现在那里了。之后的他不是在图书馆就是再canteen里学习。星期二那天，碰巧我也在canteen读书，他放课之后大约快五点了，就坐在canteen里学习，谁知道他偏偏就坐在了我对面，正对面，但是中间隔了十多行，可是因为那时挺晚的了，又是考试期间，canteen几乎没人，所以我们俩就这样尴尬地，离得很远却又面对面地读书，中间没有一个人！那种气氛，我差点没窒息喽！后来我不知道是不是他也感到不舒服，第二天我还在同样的位子读书，就没看到他，可就那么巧，我的朋友在图书馆看到他，和前一天同一时间，但他却选择了去图书馆读书，因为之前他又看到我还在canteen.
“不说话”之后两人倒是见面的次数越来越多了，昨天我真的是忍不住了，一直被朋友们骂，终于我给他发了个email，向他道歉，并告诉他我是个性格上有很多缺点的人，所以是不是要继续当我的朋友要考虑清楚。谁知他竟然很快就会了信，大约在五分钟之内吧。以下是他的回信的内容：
haha, yeah, we will talk next time right? haha, at least a hi((:
anyways, good luck for ur promos, and i just got back my chinese paper, i din fail((: more than half of the cohort failed.
all the best for promos
男生们是不是都这样，懵懵懂懂的？我总是觉得，女生们想得太多，而男生们却想得太少！而他们并不能在现阶段进入一段真正的感情。而且嘉易又是个很稳中，很成熟，很顾大局的男孩。我想他应该是那种会将学业和事业放为前提和重心的人。所以我的希望很小吧。。。可是我就是不能忘了他，怎么都不行。唉，人在自残的时候谁都不会后悔，直到痛彻心肺。。。他是我的世界的全部，我却不知道自己在他的世界里是属于哪一个角落，扮演着什么样的角色。。。真的没了自我了。。。
if who i am is what i have and what i have is lost, then, who am i?
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
im doing him injustice
i think for most of the time, im bullying him, i've been unfair to him, i told him to severe ties but did not tell him why, suddenly we changed from friends to strangers,so sudden, it's not really fair to him, and not fair to myself either. I thought that if i stop talking to him, things will get better, but it seems to go the other way round, we seem to meet each other more often, and everytime we see each other, it's an awkward situation, you dont know whether to say "hi" or not, and in the end both stare at each other for a few seconds and then walk away. I dun think i can tolerate this much longer. Im really tired of having to pretend that i never see him, i dun want to talk to him. It is a fact that i MISS HIM LIKE HELL! and my friends all told me to save this friendship before it is too late, even if we cant be that kind of "friends", as a normal friend, he's also the "diamond" type, i wont want to lose a friend like him just becos of some unknown reason. juz bcos of my crazy six sense that told me that im not suppose to talk to him.
I love photog and im going back, i dun care if ppl say im thick skinned. I've thought for a long time and i realised that i shld live my life, it's stupid to quit because you think others will uncomfortable becos of ur presence. and it's so stupid to quit becos of him, from today onwards, i shall live my life.
i shld have realised that i meant nothing in his life. He's happy even without a friend call wangmo. he's really happy with his own friends and classmates, i dun need to worry for him not having good friends to share his worries. afterall, he's such an angel type of person, who will not want to be his friends?? ha. Im being so silly to worry abt him being unhapppy. really, i mean nothing in his life, so it is quite stupid to make him be the"everything" in my life. For so long he's been the center of my entire life while i guess im only a tiny little part of his vibrant sch life. i meant nothing to him but he meant everything to me. im being extremely silly, i cant live without him but he can live perfectly well without me. so things are not right. love should be equal, balanced. i shall change myself, because there's nothing wrong with him, it's me who's got problem, he never ask me to put him as the most impt person in my life, he never ask me to focus my life on him, it's all my own bloody problems.
ok, finally, i shld just live my life the way he's living his life. and things might go well this way
自残的时候谁都不会后悔，直到痛彻心肺的那一刻。
一时的冲动伤害了自己，结果痛到现在。
放弃吧，让一切都过去吧，顺其自然，缘来惜缘，缘去随缘。一切以平常心对待吧。
我的初恋，就这样慢慢远去了。。。淡淡的刻骨铭心的滋味，不好受，但却很深刻。
I love photog and im going back, i dun care if ppl say im thick skinned. I've thought for a long time and i realised that i shld live my life, it's stupid to quit because you think others will uncomfortable becos of ur presence. and it's so stupid to quit becos of him, from today onwards, i shall live my life.
i shld have realised that i meant nothing in his life. He's happy even without a friend call wangmo. he's really happy with his own friends and classmates, i dun need to worry for him not having good friends to share his worries. afterall, he's such an angel type of person, who will not want to be his friends?? ha. Im being so silly to worry abt him being unhapppy. really, i mean nothing in his life, so it is quite stupid to make him be the"everything" in my life. For so long he's been the center of my entire life while i guess im only a tiny little part of his vibrant sch life. i meant nothing to him but he meant everything to me. im being extremely silly, i cant live without him but he can live perfectly well without me. so things are not right. love should be equal, balanced. i shall change myself, because there's nothing wrong with him, it's me who's got problem, he never ask me to put him as the most impt person in my life, he never ask me to focus my life on him, it's all my own bloody problems.
ok, finally, i shld just live my life the way he's living his life. and things might go well this way
自残的时候谁都不会后悔，直到痛彻心肺的那一刻。
一时的冲动伤害了自己，结果痛到现在。
放弃吧，让一切都过去吧，顺其自然，缘来惜缘，缘去随缘。一切以平常心对待吧。
我的初恋，就这样慢慢远去了。。。淡淡的刻骨铭心的滋味，不好受，但却很深刻。
Saturday, September 23, 2006
What does he mean?
1) when i asked what he wana be when he grow up, he said doctor. He said that he's interested in science and math and will fall asleep during humans class. Then i sighed and say, then we are so different...we'll go separate ways in future. Then he suddenly said,"But i never i want my wife to be doctor wad!"
2) When i told my CCA tcher that i want to quit, during the emergency exco meeting which was held to discussing about my problem, my tcher asked every exco to give their opinions and he only said one sentence,"think again, please think again" in a very soft voice, light tone,aiya, i duno, just that whatever he said was barely audible and the entire meeting whatever he said was very soft and i cant hear most of what he said.
3) After i handed in the resignation letter, i sent him a mail and said that we shld severe ties as in not stay in contact. Then he emailed "But there is one thing that i am gonna disagree. u noe ur previous mail says dun stay in contact. can we disagree on that. we should keep in touch."
4) then i eplied his mail and said we really shldnt keep in touch as since our friendship started cos of photog might as well end it when im leaving photog. Then he said"yeah, ok, it will take time..."
5) then usually his msn nick is only his name but then yesterday it became,"时间可以让人忘掉一切，甚至一些不想忘记的东西"
6)and today, the nick id "does it ever matter to you?"
sigh, i'll never know what he's thinking....
2) When i told my CCA tcher that i want to quit, during the emergency exco meeting which was held to discussing about my problem, my tcher asked every exco to give their opinions and he only said one sentence,"think again, please think again" in a very soft voice, light tone,aiya, i duno, just that whatever he said was barely audible and the entire meeting whatever he said was very soft and i cant hear most of what he said.
3) After i handed in the resignation letter, i sent him a mail and said that we shld severe ties as in not stay in contact. Then he emailed "But there is one thing that i am gonna disagree. u noe ur previous mail says dun stay in contact. can we disagree on that. we should keep in touch."
4) then i eplied his mail and said we really shldnt keep in touch as since our friendship started cos of photog might as well end it when im leaving photog. Then he said"yeah, ok, it will take time..."
5) then usually his msn nick is only his name but then yesterday it became,"时间可以让人忘掉一切，甚至一些不想忘记的东西"
6)and today, the nick id "does it ever matter to you?"
sigh, i'll never know what he's thinking....
Thursday, September 14, 2006
To Lydia...
Dear Lydia, it's hard for me to do that. Really, the fact that im saying that im losing myself bit by bit is because...the "brave" wang mo is no longer existing. He's the first guy i've ever felt so much in loved with. I am willing to do anything for him. Im willing to travel all the way back from innova jc in woodlands back to NJ just to have a ten min talk with him, im willing to sacrifice my revision time just to help him organise a competition, im willing to stay back with him, just to accompany him do his hw. But don't get him wrong, all these he doesn't know, as in, he didnt know i sacrificed so much, everytime he asks me to do something he's very concerned if im willing to or im free or not, if he has the slightest idea that im busy, he will not ask me. But i would rather help him cos whenever i hear him saying he's busy and has headache my heart ache too. it's really painful to see the exhausted look on his face...sometimes i think he's too responsible...he does almost everything for both photog and strings. And he has to juggle with his studies and other posts in his class. I want to help him, really, and after months of working together, we've built a sense of trust btw each other, everytime there's something impt, he'll think of me and i will think of him. The two of us can talk for a long time or sit opp. each other doing things quietly without a sound alone in darkroom but not feel a sense of uneasiness or awkwardness. sometimes i'll juz stare at him...and i found that he has a tendancy to stare at me too, but i don't know what it signifies. anyway, im very distracted now, i really really cant stop thinking of him and i keep looking out for him in sch, everytime he talks, the gentle voice will make me feel like...i want to stop at that moment, and make it into an eternity. When i first started liking him, i dont have a reason, but after i've really fallen in love with him, his everything becomes the reason for me to love him. I do not know if he feels the same way towards me or not, but i believe he just takes me as a very good friend cos he's not the kind of guy who's very good at this knid of things, but im sure that, if i don't unveil my feelings to him, our friendship will remain there forever, but if i tell him the truth, there's a danger to the precious friendship which i so treasured. I'm not willing to risk this...and i do not know if he has anyone whom he likes, but im sure, if there's really one person whom he likes, i would wish him happiness, i would never be selfish and try to snatch him, cos i know i really like him, when you really like someone, you will want him to be happy, u'll rather suffer yourself than letting him suffer. And right now, i don't want to add any turbulence to his busy and packed life, he's studies are important, he's so outstanding, i don't want him to be burdened or troubled by my feelings towards him...
Saturday, September 09, 2006
I'm thinking of him....
I think, he's the only guy in my entire 18 yrs of life who mattered that much to me. I think, i am serious this time. Have you ever experienced the feeling of wanting to see someone for every single second? Do you hate to have holidays just because during holidays, you dont get to see him? Do you feel like smsing him every tiny little bits of things that happened to you? DO you save every single smses he sents you?Do you spend all day thinking of his face, trying to figure out how you look in his eyes? Do you...if you feel this way towards a guy, like me, you are in love. Yes, I am quite sure this time, that i like, or love him, to the extent that yesterday, the first thing i did when i got home was to check my mail and see if he e-mailed me instead of checking for UOB's e-mail. ha, i get sad when i see him talking to other girls. I feel small and insignificant infront of him, he's like the star in the sky, whom i can only admire from afar. I don't know why, when we work together, i will be very unnatural and especially fierce to him.A failed attempt to cover up my infatuation? ha, what a childish wangmo.I am troubled now, his birthday is coming, everyone around me tells me to take it as an opportunity to reveal my love to him. But im scared, i never thought im such a coward until today. I really don't dare, what if he doesn't like me? I will add burdens to his already ultra busy school life. He's in the leadership position in every area, class, CCAs...his studies are good, his photographic skills very pro, he plays violine like a...i don't know how to explain, just that...he's the kind of guy who's most charming when he's concentrating. I duno, i feel like keeping this special feeling to my heart only, i don't want to reveal it, i know that, if i tell him, even he doesnt like me, he will not say it out straight away, he will care for my feelings and blame himself. And i don't want him to feel like that...i don't want him to feel burdened because of my feelings, tough karen says he treats me differently from others, i dont have the confidence to believe it, he's so good. I duno, but, i really do feel the pain, deep in my heart, it's really painful when you cant tell the one whom you love with all your heart, whose life you care more than your own life that you LOVE him. But it's my choice, i'll rather suffer alone than to make him troubled..
有一朵云，被一支猎人射偏的箭射中了。她没有喊痛，还暗暗地感到欢喜，她以为是被爱神的箭射中了，于是，她便爱着他，身不由己浑身是伤地爱着他。。。为了他的幸福，她宁愿自己痛苦着。只要他能幸福快乐，她就会觉得满足，在她以后的生命中，虽没有他的身影，但却永远有着一个属于他的角落。。。永远在那里。。。
有一朵云，被一支猎人射偏的箭射中了。她没有喊痛，还暗暗地感到欢喜，她以为是被爱神的箭射中了，于是，她便爱着他，身不由己浑身是伤地爱着他。。。为了他的幸福，她宁愿自己痛苦着。只要他能幸福快乐，她就会觉得满足，在她以后的生命中，虽没有他的身影，但却永远有着一个属于他的角落。。。永远在那里。。。
Thursday, August 17, 2006
My life is in a mess....
i duno why...i mean....everything in nj is ok, or even nice, but my life here is juz very....i duno....i tend to get very emotional recently, i will juz suddenly cry out of no apparent reasons. im juz...behaving in a very funny way. ok...the tchers are nice, i cant say that they teach well but at least they are not mean, though once in a while one or two of them will have bad mood or pms, those little tiny things are still okay....and the cca is great, i really love NJ photog society, but may be because i love it too much then now im a bit dependent, i will be in the darkrm all the time....doing nothing, juz nothing but it feels like very comfortable, very peaceful there. but...things are not that simple, how i hope things can be simpler....life can be simpler! recently....i think i had a crush on a guy....he's always very serious and fierce to me normally until one day....i duno...i blow up and showed my temper and then aft that day he became very polite....a bit too polite i think, i miss the time when we quarell and when i get scolded by him. he's younger than me, but he appeared much more experienced and steadier than me, he looks older than his age. he's really cool and talented, plays violine really well....i duno why im feeling this way, it's juz that when i dun see him i feel like seeing him and when i talk to him i will become unnatural and sometimes i will just be angry with him for nothing and i will also... try to attract his attention. this is mad la! come on! i tot i will never feel this way towards any guy! but there's no chance, i heard that he has a girl whom he secretly admires...for a long time alr. i told myself to forget it and concentrate on everything i have to complete right now....qug is really a super ultra busy month for me...but somehow... the feeling refuses to go away....sigh...why....i hate life....im always in this kind of paradoxical....contradicting situation....a triangle love affair, i like him he likes another girl who doesnt notice him. wow...cool...it's becoming something like a drama....sigh....i hate my life!
Sunday, July 02, 2006
I love ART CLASS 2005!!!!...sigh....busy days...
have been very busy for the past few days. Thurs went for art gathering, Fri went for a Korean art exhibition, and yesterday spent the whole day at Pasir Ris park with the SPH student reporters. It's their sports day. Not say very sporty but yeah la, there's considerable np. of sports played. But the ground is so muddy that i refuse to participate in the captain's ball game.but too bad there's too little people in my grp so die die have to paly, so i played as the captain, in the end still got myself all wet and dirty while trying to catch the stupid sinful ball. i got myself injured while trying to challenge a guy and see who jumps further, stupid right? i chose a very huge"canal" and asked him to jump, then he jumped over, god knows how much i regretted challenging him laz, but i'm very competitive one, so i tried to jump too, in the end i managed to land juz on the opposite but the inertia made me fall, shit. never, the whole event was quite fun, we had BBQ later that evening, and junzhan senior came with his photography team. ever since then, people start to gossip, whenever we two start talking to each other, his teammates will try to snap at us and get hold of the "evidence" so childish! then later during the BBQ, i offered him a cheese sausage and then walao, ppl start to get high, and talks non-stop abt the "affair" btw the two of us! and they even start to call me"sis in law" walao, damn paiseh...well, the Korean art exhibition was kind of nothing, really, like chinese art, and then the artists there are so.....i duno wad to say....so petty....and they are so groupy...like to attack each other's works and styles....walao...so damn complex kind of small society!And yes, Art gathering....it Rocks man!!!!! walao, havent been so happy for quite a long time~! i saw my beloved Lydia, Karen Khor...and even the not so wanted xiaohua. well....Karen khor is as blur and funny as ever...Lydia became more intellectual...wahohahaha...more profound..hahaha the power of KI!!!! wow!!!hahaha... Oh yeah, how can I forget, the forever fat MR LOWWWWWW!!!! I miss him!!!!! at first not so...but the more i began to hate Ms Lu, the more i start to miss him...walao...and i feel so lost now, without him i can't get any idea consolidated! last yr i depend on him solely for ideas...walao...duno wad's gg to happen to my UOB painting...everything in NJ art sucks. everything in DHS2005 art Rocks. stark contrast! well...too bad i've alr. graduated...sigh...I miss u all!!!! MR LOW!!! MRS GOH!!!KAREN YEH!!!!XINNI!!!VIC!!!!JOYCE!!!!BELINDA!!!!LYDIA!!!KAREN KHOR!!!!WINSTON!!!!PEIWEN!!!!MABELINE!!!!but then im so ultra sad...do i look like someone who will be willingly raped by guys??? that idiot mr low muz be mad!!! good thing that he realised his mistake at once, or else i'll kill him! and rape him! nop, he too fat!!! lousy boasty busy fatty looooowwwww!!!:PP.S shld meet gain very soon!!!! i cant live without u all, but sorry if im very weird to u all, but im juz very weird! how to change?? murder me la murder me la!!!!gtg and mug le, why shld i mug? i shall use today and mug for 4 subjs and then fail all these 4!!!! so damn ultra sad...who can SAVE ME???
Sunday, June 18, 2006
An interesting conversation
An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and.....
Prof: So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.
Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.
Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student:Yes.
Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
Student: (Student is silent.)
Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student: Yes.
Prof: Is Satan good?
Student: No.
Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From...God...
Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.
Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.
Prof: So who created evil?
Student: (Student does not answer.)
Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student: Yes, sir.
Prof: So, who created them?
Student: (Student has no answer.)
Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.
Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student: No , sir.
Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.
Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.
Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.
Student: No sir. There isn't. (The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
Prof: (The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)
Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
Prof: (The class is in uproar.)
Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
Prof: (The class breaks out into laughter.)
Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it?.....No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
Prof: (The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student: That is it sir.. The link between man & God is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.
Went to Pasir ris park with karen
hahahahahha, today is so fun! karen and I went there as slackers, we are supposed to design some houses for the GVN. and we met at pasir ris MRT and im supposed to look out for a guy who looked like a "terrorist". He's the person in charge. he really looked like one, so sad we didn't take a photo of him. i bought a new camera, cannon one, 6megapixel. sigh, i've been spoiling many things in recent yrs, in the past 1 and a 1/2 yrs, i've spoilt 2 pairs of specs, 1 camera, 2 bags, 1 pair of sunglasses, one of my dad's favourite painting, one of his favourite pen, one of his precious ancient "gun"---only for keeping but real gun, looks like it existed in the 1700s or 1800s. nvm, yar, i've been very "sui" recently. but nvm, i've got my new camera, and hope it can survive longer than...expected....say 2 years? i hope. my new laptop was predicted to survive for only 2 yrs. my dad's prediction. duno if it will come true or not. but think in another way, it will not be a very bad thing either, cos like that i can get a newer and better one, oh year, the previous camera died quite tragically, i dropped it, it landed hard on the floor, as if it's not enough...my fat foot stepped on it...and my slow functioning brain did not realise wad had happened until...quite a while...and as usual, it takes some time to pass the signal to my nerve system...and like after ages then i psychologically and physically realised what i did. but by that time....it's been pronounced dead for quite a while, cos... i think im too fat, my 1/2 a 100 kg landed on that small pathetic cam...IM SO ULTRA SORRY! should have burried it, but dad's it's not environmentally friendly, well....he's the only one who can remain calm and think straight no matter wad happens, even when i spoilt his "gun", he pretended nothing had happened... but i think i almost saw his TEARS....may be im imagining things, but i recovered very soon, but dad seems to take some time to get out of that "disaster". then i was banned to get any where near to his...compound....but i can always sneak in. nvm, it wasn't my worse experience, heard that the worse thing is when i ate up one of his "official papers" when im two yrs old. that was a mystry, a myth in the family, no one knows how i did it, but it was a fact cos everyone saw me shitting it out together with newspapers. it wasn't much decomposed when i shit it out, it was out within a few hrs after i ate it, must not have tasted nice....n i bet im intellectual at that pt of time, i juz wana absorb more knowledge, if i ever know wad "knowledge" is at that time. no wonder im so clever and knowledgeable now,hehehe. heard that that time my dad's face turned from white to green to purple and then to black and then...duno...im surprised with that kind of colourful transformations he can still stay alive. nvm, why am i talking abt this? well, the moral of the story is, my dad loves me,(proven by the fact that im still living healthily now and not killed by him) and im a very very very very DESTRUCTIVE daughter who's hard and expensive to raise. okay, close case.
yeah, back to topic, actually i wana say that i had a very fun time with karen, first time we didn't quarell and we had a fun time snapping away at weird stuff. really, we both really have weird sense of beauty, those things we took are very very odd. shall upload the pics when im free. and that karen, keep talking "surprise" photos of me, when im...when i got too high, then i started dancing then she...took pics of me and kept laughing at it!!!!walao, and many other such kind of photos, she says that it showed the true side of me, never know that my truuuuuuuue side is so funny, really funny, my expressions are very very very funny. maybe can be second, the first is still xinni. ahhahahahahahahaha, nvm, im being weird. and that karen kept snapping at other strangers too. and kept saying," i scared that they'll box me! hwohowhow???" walao, u ownself wana take pic of others wad. aiyo, and most of the time bcos she's too slow, by the time she take out the cam and set everything or even by the time she focus, the people will be gone, so often she ends up taking the backs of the people. and also, we saw a very very very young handsome boy. really "shuai" standard. he's foreigner, European i think, damn handsome, super handsome, and i managed to take a photo of him, so cool and he's so gentleman like, im so....................charmed by him....oh my gracious god!!!!!!!!hahahhahaha
yeah, back to topic, actually i wana say that i had a very fun time with karen, first time we didn't quarell and we had a fun time snapping away at weird stuff. really, we both really have weird sense of beauty, those things we took are very very odd. shall upload the pics when im free. and that karen, keep talking "surprise" photos of me, when im...when i got too high, then i started dancing then she...took pics of me and kept laughing at it!!!!walao, and many other such kind of photos, she says that it showed the true side of me, never know that my truuuuuuuue side is so funny, really funny, my expressions are very very very funny. maybe can be second, the first is still xinni. ahhahahahahahahaha, nvm, im being weird. and that karen kept snapping at other strangers too. and kept saying," i scared that they'll box me! hwohowhow???" walao, u ownself wana take pic of others wad. aiyo, and most of the time bcos she's too slow, by the time she take out the cam and set everything or even by the time she focus, the people will be gone, so often she ends up taking the backs of the people. and also, we saw a very very very young handsome boy. really "shuai" standard. he's foreigner, European i think, damn handsome, super handsome, and i managed to take a photo of him, so cool and he's so gentleman like, im so....................charmed by him....oh my gracious god!!!!!!!!hahahhahaha
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