arh...haha...In Beijing

well, i must say that, keeping a blog alive is quite a hard thing to do. especially for a person as lazy as me. actually, most of the time i have a lot of things to write, to say, to espress...to wadever. but then, the moment i think of typing them all out, it freaks me out. and yep...so well...anyway...i am in Beijing now. Well, not as happy as i thought myself to be. I dont know why. Last time, going back to my hometown used to be my ultimate goal for the yr. but now, it seems, like an annual...chore which im forced to do. well, i still do miss my relatives here, my grandmother, my dad(maybe) my cousins...and most importantly, the City itself, which i used to be very proud of. but now...i dont know if is it because i've grown up, i felt that, i no longer need all these people around, i no longer care so much about country pride or wadever patriotic stuff...i just want to have a place for myself, just a tiny little bit of area for myself, where i can lock myself in and...yeah....be alone for a while. Today's City is too complicated and noisy for me. Im just back for a wk and 1 days, and within these short 8 days, i have to go around entertaining my parent's friends with them, listen to them talking abt me, my future, their kids, their achievements...and all those bloody things which im never interested in. All those restaurant food...colourful but not tasty at all. And all those "Harvard", "Yale","Imperial College","Cornell" etc etc...come on! im living my life! i dont want to go to all those stupid countries. I am stupid! im neither future Harvard graduate nor future Yale graduate. im juz a pethatic little helpless kid who's struggling to get out of my prarent's control. well...hahahaha...i think im so lost now, i dun think i would want to go back to china to work, it's juz too corrupted, no matter how much i tried to bluff myself, the truth speaks. look at them, juz one night, juz one dinner, 3000 china bucks gone, and there's still many "nights" and "dinners" to come. life is juz like that. and im not used to it.

sighz...yeah...im stuck here, and...hahaha...u know? in beijing, the sun sets at ard 3pm wahahaha...and then after that then it starts to get dark...and i always wake up ard 12pm so my day is only half a day! im living half days everyday! wahahahah...sorry...i dun think im sane....never mind, im never sane. whooooaaaaa....a long entry....

heyz!

heyz people, please go to my photo web to look at my photos...he he he...do give some comments:)
http://wangmo.multiply.com/photos

NJPS exco farewell

err... i really duno wad to say liao lor, PS is really a failure club now, the senior farewell dinner is almost like, the seniors farewell for themselves. Our current exco, only jiayi and ian and li ang were there, and well, i dropped by and left pretty soon, feeling damn cheated cos aiya, my fav senior wasnt there and i think there's no point staying on, eating dinner with a bunch of seniors whom u dun really know or dun really like. They really failed in engaging us laz. SI jie, yixian all didnt go. so wad's the point for me to go? And jiayi and liang are like, old members, older generations, so they know the seniors well enough to be able to mix with them, poor ian. sighz. well...and the whole thing turned out to be like a flop and i think, ps will continue to stay in this state. sighz sighz...nxt yr im gona be an invisible exco, im not gona get involved in such a failure cca. well..i've tried, but it proved itself to be beyond hope. And...sighz...i really dun find anymore meanings staying in ps, maybe cos got si jie? well, and jiayi, but this guy, too profound to be considered as my friend. i'm always intimidated by his...actions...words, not that he purposely go and threaten me, but juz that, he's always very...unpredictable and deep...sighz...well...i've only seen him pissed for once, and that once is enough for me...until now i still feel like crying...when i thought of wad he said...sighz..well..never mind, life has to go on, juz one less friend...aiya...but a bit "she bu de" cos he's really a nice person when he's not angry...ha ha ha, very helpful guy, but never mind, i still got karen and si jie...:P