love...it's an unpredictable thingy

逃避你

世界最遥远的一种相距中明明迷恋

然而

又不知怎向你形容

呆想

只会越盼越冷

我怎么可得到你认同

我不清楚

不太懂

世界最遥远的一种相距中

明明情深

然而

亦不敢亲切地抱拥

呆等

感觉被我断送

纵使看不清所爱面容

仍未敢伸出我手触碰

逃避你

却又期待我可跟你做情人

而用情的心

可天昏地暗

逃避你

爱是遥又远得很

而我始终不敢靠近

还是不相信能和你合衬

如果和你从没开始 我又何苦如此伤痛？

i shld get over him

im getting over him. im gona get over him, very soon, today i dun feel so much like last time alr. and i hope i will get over this, and everyone ard me is against of me liking him. and really, maybe it's really a mistake. im trying trying to hard to correct it but my heart seems to be quite rebellious...sigh...well, i think, i shldnt disappoint more people, i shld just end it. and right now, i just hope he can be very very bad to me first, then i can really get over him, right now im like, still, having like a slim hope that he might like me cos he and the other gal is like not having any progress and he might actually eventually like me and if he dun prefer me why he so good friend with me? andI THINK THESE ARE ALL BIG FAT EXCUSES THAT I FED TO MYSELF EVERYTIME THERE'S A CHANCE FOR ME TO SEE THE REALITY OF THINGS LA. and the reality is..:HE DOES NOT LIKE ME, AND TO THE MAXIMUM HE JUST TAKE ME AS A GOOD FRIEND. and i shld stop dreaming. really, you see, during outings and stuff like that, and for every time i see him, he treats me like any other person, and i shld have been clear abt it like ages ago, it's juz that i keep bluffing myself. i keep feeding myself with fake hopes...i am pathetic right? ha ha,hahahahahahahahahahaha, i've never felt so much like a failure before. as in, yes, im darn hell HURT by this entire whole thing, but not by jiayi, but by myself. he has nothing to do with all these, he's just being himself, it's me who's pushing myself towards a cliff, and if i continue moving forward, i will fall. and like wad my dad( or mr low? i forgot anway some big firgure) always says abt me, "wang mo rarely falls, but if she falls, she falls hard". yeah i think im doing injustice to both him me myself. i deserve better right? i really wana find a person who likes me too, it's ok that i like him more than he likes me, but it's not ok that i like him but he doesnt like me. ha ha ha ha, im juz dreaming laz, jiayi will never like me, never ever. ha ha ha ha. i duno, we can talk very long on msn, we can laugh together, can have fun together but he doesnt like me, and love cant be forced. well, ha ha ha, this might be the first and last time im gona be madly in love, ha ha, maybe when im totally over him, i can tell him abt it, like saying a joke....ha ha...but not now, i know, i still like him, but i also know, i shld get over him. sigh, i really hope i dun need to see him ever again. really, hopefully nxt yr i can go us or uk soon, really soon, and i will never come back to spore, i will never ever gg to see him again. sigh...how? im sad...today's outing, really proved to me that hey, he's so happy. and hey, why im not happy? it's time for me to forget abt him, and get on to another chapter of my life....

...

You Are a Sensitive Kisser

For you, kissing is a way to connect And you need lot of care, attention, and privacy It may take you a while to kiss someone... But when you do, it's total fireworks

What's Your Kissing Style?

You Are Sophisticated Sexy

You're a classy woman, and you carry yourself with grace. Most men are in awe of you, and even a bit intimidated by you. You always make sure you're looking great, from head to toe. And your charm and wit gets you on the good side of everyone you meet.

What Kind of Sexy Are You?

You Are Friends With Potential

There's a little spark going on here, no question about it Will this develop into a hot romance? Look to your guy friend for clues. Does he flirt with all his female friends? Or are you an exception? If he's giving you special treatment, you've won a part of his heart already.

Is He More Than a Friend?

You Are A Relationship Doormat!

Surprise, you ruin relationships. Bet you didn't see that one coming :-) While you're a nice, understanding, and caring girlfriend - you don't put your needs first. And deep down, it's probably because you worry about getting dumped. So speak up for yourself, weed out the losers sooner, and you'll find a guy that *deserves* you.

Do You Ruin Relationships?

You Are 50% Scary

You're a pretty normal, nice girl... but you definitely have your scary moments. As long as you acknowledge them and apologize, you'll probably keep your guy around.

Do You Scare Off Men?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell. You'd like to your lover to think you are flexible and ready for anything! You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

You Should Get a MBA (Masters of Business Administration)

You're a self starter with a drive for success. You'd make a great entrepreneur.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What's Your Love Style?

what kind of person am i?

Your Social Anxiety Level: 8%
You have low social anxiety.You don't have any social anxiety. In fact, you love being social.You're well adjusted and likely quite outgoing. Your social skills put others at ease.
Are You Socially Anxious?

You Are A Romantic
You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to.Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you.Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted.Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do!
Are You Romantic or Realistic?

You Are Somewhat Honest
You do tend to tell the truth a lotBut you also stretch the truth on occasionYou figure a little lie isn't a big dealAs long as it doesn't hurt anyone too much!
How Honest Are You?


How You Are In Love
You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.You tend to take more than give in relationships.You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.
How Are You In Love?

You Are 72% Cynical
You're a full blown cynic... and probably even skeptical of these results.You have your optimistic moments, but most likely you keep them to yourself.
How Cynical Are You?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Spatial Intelligence
You've got a good sense of space and how the world around you looks.You can close your eyes and "see" images. You have innate artistic talent.An eye for color and shapes, you're also a natural designer.Since you think in pictures, visual aids and demonstartions help you learn best.You would make a good navigator, sculptor, visual artist, inventor, architect, interior designer, or engineer.
What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Your Personality Cluster is Extraverted Sensing
You are:A true admirer of beauty and artSomeone who seeks out variety and adventureNot interested in status or material wealthAble to act wisely without stopping to think
What's Your Personality Cluster?

Your Power Level is: 81%
You have all the tools you need to be a success - both professionally and personally.You'll probably go beyond reaching your goals. You'll change the world (at least a little).
How Powerful Are You?

Your Envy Quotient: 44%
You are an envious person, but only at times.Perhaps certain situations trigger your envy. Or maybe you're especially jealous when you're feeling insecure.Instead of letting that green monster out, work on making your own life better.And then maybe people will be envious of you.
How Much Envy Do You Have?

You Are Impressionism
You think the world is quite beautiful, especially if you look at it in new and interesting ways.You tend to focus on color and movement in art.For you, seeing the big picture is much more important than recording every little detail.You can find inspiration anywhere... especially from nature.
What Art Movement Are You?

Your Career Type: Enterprising
You are engertic, ambitious, and sociable.Your talents lie in politics, leading people, and selling things or ideas.You would make an excellent:Auctioneer - Bank President - Camp DirectorCity Manager - Judge - LawyerRecreation Leader - Real Estate Agent - Sales PersonSchool Principal - Travel Agent - TV NewscasterThe worst career options for your are investigative careers, like mathematician or architect.
What's Your Ideal Career?

Your Love Element Is Earth
In love, you have consistency and integrity.For you, love is all about staying grounded and centered.You attract others with your zest for life and experiences.Your flirting style is defined by setting the scene, creating a unique moment in time.Steady progress and stability are the cornerstones of your love life.You may take things too slowly, but you never put your heart at risk.You connect best with: FireAvoid: WoodYou and another Earth element: need each other too much to build a good foundation
What Element Is Your Love?

Your Love Life Secrets Are
Looking back on your life, you will only have one true love.You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt.You want to be with someone who's a success. A person with the right job, right family, right clothes...In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm.Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.
Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

You Are 60% Weird
You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!
How Weird Are You?

You Are An ISTP
The MechanicYou are calm and collected, even in the most difficult of situations.A person of action and self-direction, you love being independent.To outsiders yous eem impulsive, surprising, and unpredictable.You are good at understanding how all things work, except for people.You would make an excellent pilot, forensic pathologist, or athlete.
What's Your Personality Type?

What Your Sleeping Position Says
You are confident and ready to tackle life.You are pretty vain and happy with your physical appearance.You are born to be the center of attention, and you're unhappy on the sidelines.You're always up for trying something new - in and out of bed!

those that are in bold and other colours are the things that i find ...most like me...and actually others are wuite like me too...this is quite accurate...hmmm....

Youth for Environment talk...greenlink...

hahaha...nice right? i like the water droplets....

haha...sat went for the "youth for Environment forum" thingy at national library...saw Grant and grace and junying and ...aiya...the usual faces. personally i feel that the forum itself is not very well prepared, the speakers also...either read off from prepared scripts or some even can see that he or she never prepare at all. nothing very fruitful came out...well...but NJC Greenlink was mentioned quite a few times, we were really seen by the leaders of Singaopore's Enviro organisations as one of the leading green clubs in schools. that's really something to be proud of, and true enough, we've juz got our sustained achievement award (lotus) for Green Audit, the most prestigious award given to sch green clubs..3 consecutive years....we are pro laz! hahaha, and Mr Loh's name was mentioned too! hahaha, so sad he's not there...hahaha...

and but...i did "bring back" smth hm, ahhahaha, cos i was early when i reached National lib, and so i went ard taking photos, and it so happened that they were watering the plants ard the place, and i think i got quite a few really good photos...hehehehe

Jane Goodall's talk...wow

took this photo near the art block 2nd floor...when i came out from darkrm...never thought nj could be so beautiful too..........
this is the photo i took...went all the way to the front...with all the pro uncle photographers
err...me...asking questions...err...not a vrey intelligent move...
hahaha, the day before yesterday i went to listen to Doctor Jane Goodall's talk. Jane Goodall is the world's foremost authority on chimpanzees, having closely observed their behavior for the past quarter century in the jungles of the Gombe Game Reserve in Africa, living in the chimps' environment and gaining their confidence. wahahaha, got to know about it through greenlink. And at first when i first heard of this, i was so amazed that the government actually picked NJC instead of other top JCs like HCJC or RJC. anyway, our principal mrs cheng must have tried...err..very hard...REALLY VERY HARD to get Doc Goodall here. and well, we did lose a bit of face becos of the lousy sound system, first there's the nonstopping "tick" sound which led to Doc Goodall's humurous comment :" are you sure it is not a bomb?" wahaha, a cool little old British woman. Marvelous! and then later, when i went up to ask questions, the microphone failed to produce any sound, wad a flop...sigh...and then i have to go all the way to the front to ask her the question. I asked about corruption in Africa, and clearly, she's not at all very happy with my special interest in African corruptions and went on to claim that there's corruptions everywhere, including the richest country on Earth...which...of course, she meant the States. But wad i am thinking about is that, the African governments in Zambia... and Congo and many others are really corrupted to an extent that their own people can be dying out there, due to things as basic as hunger and they themselves can enjoy luxuries such as buying diamonds, gemstones...it's not like the case of china or US where at least, the standard of living has raised or is rising....wadever...nvm... okay, and after asking the question, finally i cant stop the urge...ever since the "quit photog" incident, i have developed this problem...called the "camera phobia", i duno why, just very scared of holding the huge black SLR...then the day before yesterday i smsed jiayi and asked if anyone's taking photo for the talk and he said no. and then...it is when i start to have this dilemma of whether i should go and take photos, cos i might need them for my report but i really dun wana touch cameras right now. So on that day, i went to darkrm and took a nikon cam, i passed it to my senior junying and asked him to take photos, but then he didnt dare to go the the very front together with all photographers from straitstime and sph...so ended up..Doc Goodall's face appeared very small...sigh...then in the end, i juz dashed down with the camera, din care if mrs cheng or whoever is looking at me, at that time the only thing in my mind was"to get nice photos" and in the end, yes i did, though LT5 was quite dark, the lighting is really horrible, i had to use ISO800 and shutterspeed 40...i cant compromise the shutterspeed any furthur cos actually, i should keep it no lower than 60 to prevent hand shake...but nvm...ISO 800...i was so scared that the photos will turn out very grainy but in the end...aft i upload them in darkrm, they appeared to be ok...thank god...and i overcame my "camera phobia"! wahaha ...

and yeah...im a bit worried abt jiayi, he told me he's damn stressed out these few days...on the brink of collapse...it's really quite worrying because he's not a guy who will show his weaknesses or exhuastion easily. and he doesnt like to share his problems and since he dun like it, i wont ask him...but maybe i shld write an encouraging letter to him...yeah...and that's all...afterall im not supposed to be the one who's doing the "most" for him, haha, leave that to his "sweetheart", i think he needs her much more than he needs my help. yeah...but as a friend...im really quite worried, hope he can pull himself together and not be so stressed... :)