恋 分类:孤单的日子
我在云端上看着你,可你却在看着别人
这公平吗
我多想你能抬头看看我,可你总是很坚决的就那么走
留下我一个人
我并不知道,这样的感情会不会让我很难承受
可心就是那么的痛
我多想他可以好好看看我
只是这样,也不行吗
其实这样的感情是虚假的,
我是在虚拟一个人物,一个懂得来关爱我的人
那里去找
其实
我就在期待啊
这么小 谈什么恋爱哦
是把
呵呵
这象苦笑吗
也许是吧....
Monday, May 26, 2008
I have secured an overseas scholarship, but i am not very sure if I should take it up. SO in the mean time, I should not tell you which scholarship it is...sighz...i am struggling to make the decision. Decision making is always tough, especially for someone at a very young age. But this is life isn't it? haha..interesting.
"One day all the employees reached the office and they saw a big notice on the door on which was written: 'Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in the gym'.
In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself. The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were ordered to control the crowd within the room.The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up. Everyone thought: 'Who is this guy who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he died!'. One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.
There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see himself.There was also a sign next to the mirror that said:
You are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success.
You are the only person who can help yourself.Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your company changes.
Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for your life.
"One day all the employees reached the office and they saw a big notice on the door on which was written: 'Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in the gym'.
In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself. The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were ordered to control the crowd within the room.The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up. Everyone thought: 'Who is this guy who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he died!'. One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.
There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see himself.There was also a sign next to the mirror that said:
There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: it is YOU’You are the only person who can revolutionize your life.
You are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success.
You are the only person who can help yourself.Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your company changes.
Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for your life.
'The most important relationship you can have is the one you have with- Author unknown -
yourself'”
"The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while
we live."
- Norman Cousins -
Sunday, May 25, 2008
《味道》
今天晚上的星星很少
不知道它们跑那去了
赤裸裸的天空
星星多寂廖
我以为伤心可以很少
我以为我能过的很好
谁知道一想你思念苦药
无处可逃
想念你的笑
想念你的外套
想念你白色袜子和身上的味道
我想念你的吻和手指淡淡烟草味道
记忆中曾被爱的味道
今天晚上心事很少
不知道这样算好不好
赤裸裸的寂寞
朝着心头绕
我以为伤心可以很少
我以为我能过的很好
谁知道一想你思念苦无药
无处可逃
想念你的笑
想念你的外套
想念你白色袜子和你身上的味道
我想念你的吻和手指淡淡烟草味道
记忆中曾被爱的味道
想念你的笑
想念你的外套
想念你白色袜子和身上的味道
我想念你的吻和手指淡淡烟草味道
记忆中曾被爱的味道。。。
最近的我总被一种莫名的焦虑和恐惧包围着，不安的恐慌，好累，我真的累了。
今天晚上的星星很少
不知道它们跑那去了
赤裸裸的天空
星星多寂廖
我以为伤心可以很少
我以为我能过的很好
谁知道一想你思念苦药
无处可逃
想念你的笑
想念你的外套
想念你白色袜子和身上的味道
我想念你的吻和手指淡淡烟草味道
记忆中曾被爱的味道
今天晚上心事很少
不知道这样算好不好
赤裸裸的寂寞
朝着心头绕
我以为伤心可以很少
我以为我能过的很好
谁知道一想你思念苦无药
无处可逃
想念你的笑
想念你的外套
想念你白色袜子和你身上的味道
我想念你的吻和手指淡淡烟草味道
记忆中曾被爱的味道
想念你的笑
想念你的外套
想念你白色袜子和身上的味道
我想念你的吻和手指淡淡烟草味道
记忆中曾被爱的味道。。。
最近的我总被一种莫名的焦虑和恐惧包围着，不安的恐慌，好累，我真的累了。
Saturday, May 24, 2008
If something or someone is stagnant, if fatigue or inertia or indecision have a hold, if movement is needed for well being and nothing has come to start the flow or end the flow, praise that something or someone. Praise it out loud. Praise her out loud. Praise him out loud. Offer up a hand or a lift by finding something good, anything good, about the circumstances or person in question. Declare that goodness out loud. Declare it like life itself depends on it. Because life itself just might.
Speaking something positive, with sincerity, changes the atmosphere surrounding a stagnant situation. It shines a light in the darkness, eases fears and relaxes a closed heart. If a plant is suffering, tell it how beautiful it is. Kiss it when no one is looking. If a woman is depressed, tell her how much she is needed. Tell her specifically why you love her. If a man is dying, tell him everything you know about his value and his valor and his contributions to the world. Ease him back into life or release him from life with praise.
Everyone and everything is hard-wired to respond to the energy of love. All situations are made better when love is let loose through words of praise, when recognition of value and worth are declared. We all need that caress, that life-affirming hug, of knowing we make a difference. Knowing we matter. To someone or something.Let's not be stingy with praise. Let's look around, see where the lights are low and offer up spoken words of love. They cost nothing, but their value is priceless. Let's initiate positive flow, let's dare to make each other feel valued, let's light the world with our words.Be praise and praise be.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Photos in BGSS...
Mr Muhammad's present for me...soooo swwweettt.... :)
Mr Muhammad's present for me...soooo swwweettt.... :)
Mr Muhammad did reflections with me...heehee
with wang lao shi in the pic... :)
WITH THE REST OF THE INTERNS AND RELIEF TCHERS... 
with mr lee 
with...oh no! I don't know her name...but she worked with my dear mr whitby in nj last time...a very nice lady :)
And of course, my funny, funky nice and caring but a little fierce mentor, mr muhammad...ART DEPARTMENT PHOTOS...
A VERY HAPPY FAMILY...
TAKING FUNKY PHOTOS TOGETHER...
MAKING STUPID POSES...
OKAY....BE SERIOUS!...THEN...
OOPS...BACK TO -_-'''' 
-_-''' SHAKES MO'S HEAD...CHILDISH BUNCH..HOHO...
AND THEN....IT 'RAINED' ANTS FROM THE TREE...-_-''''
OKAY...AN ATTEMPT TO BE SERIOUS..LOOK AT MR MUHAMMAD'S FACE...O.o
HOHO...MYFAV. PART...IT'S 'TIGER' TIME...I MEAN..LUNCH TIME...
"If I am breathing, every moment is precious.
Every moment is important.
Even the darkest ones. But in questing to open my heart, there are now moments where God steps in, quiets my mind, and awakens my Soul to receive. These are the perfect moments."
Today, is my last day in BGSS and my inner spirit is tired. Too much memories and shards of small grief have worn me down. I'm not fond of being worn down. I prefer to be lit from within by wonder and discovery. I prefer to feel rested and ready to welcome the gifts of each day. I prefer the pulse of creative verve in my veins.
I feel that I am blessed with perfect moments recently. Short spans of time and no time that come upon me suddenly and leave kisses of grace on my heart. These moments are brief. These moments are unexpected. But the beauty and fullness of fleeting, perfect flashes lies in my fairly new ability to recognize them. I'm quite sure I've been privy to these moments my whole life, but the effort I've put into opening my heart has cleansed my lens of awareness, and recognition is now swift.
What I am in the midst of is a shift. Effort in one direction has ended. The pause has arrived. Possibilities are floating into view, but I'm too tired to act on them. For the moment. Flowers and birdsong, decorating notebooks and blogs, ice-cream and cupcakes all call my attention and remind me...the energy of YOUTH will come back to me. Rest a few days, eat well, drink water and the self-revival will rise. Rest, and the spark will be lit. Rest, give energy and love back to myself and my heart will feel at home. Or so I hope.
I. am. overwhelmed by work or grief or the uncertainty of having to let go of the known or unknown, rest.
There comes a point in every life, I hope, when the reasons and excuses and fears to hold back wilt in the mind. There comes a point when it is suddenly pointless to remain in the shadows, to deny dreams and to keep the lid on creative forces that can change your world for the better. There comes a point when you must simply bloom.Pain and grief and exhaustion often bring the reasons for self denial into the grimy, filmy light. You look at them and think, "what the hell am I waiting for"? "Who the hell cares anymore for opinions and consequences? It's my life, dammit, I can do what I want and be who I want".
The pivotal point in a life can come at 12, at 16 at 18, 20, at 40, at 81 and a half. It does not matter when it comes, just as long as it arrives before your last breath shudders out of your lungs. Because freedom rides on the petals as they fall open in bloom. Freedom rides the thoughts and actions that burst the bonds of self-restraint and self-imprisonment. Freedom lies in your choice to live the life you deserve. And you deserve the taste of freedom.
So go to London. Write the fiction book. Fall in love. Be a photojournalist. Get the loan. Walk away from toxic people. Learn to sail. Finish the degree. Open my heart and so what if gets trampled. Open it again. Make this moment or the next moment or 14,532 moments from now the point that pivots my dreams into reality. So I tell myself...
Do not hold back forever. I don't have forever. Bloom soon. Bloom now.
Today is the day I end a short chapter in my life. Today is the day I sow the seeds for a new beginning. Today is the day I reflect. Today is the day I care not for time.
My time pieces are either taken off walls, turned around or covered up. Because I am exhausted from rushing, rushing, rushing through my days and my life. Rushing to meet expectations and obligations. Rushing to be someone I am not. Rushing to please all others but myself.Enough.
Enough, I say.
Enough, I say.
Today I exist in my own time. I eat, sleep, create, speak or not when I wish to. Let the sky be my clock. Let my heart lead the way from one intrigue to the next. Let me be simple. Let me lie on the floor and stare at nothing. Let me rest in the freedom of no time at all.
Today I live without clocks. Today I surrender all effort. Today I live.
On a side note:
The thing about love.
The question is not whether jy likes me or not. The question is whether I am prepared to love him the way he deserves to be loved. The question is whether I have poured enough love into my own heart, my own being to be filled to overflowing. It is the overflow, the more-love-than-I can-possibly-use-for-myself that will create the lake of love for him to swim in.
There was a saying:
A girl's love is a gift. Her love is a grail. Her love is the jeweled chalice that receives the purified elixir of the heart in touch with itself. The heart that knows love starts at its own center and ripples outward. The heart that honors itself first, knowing from experience how best to honor another heart with love.
So, the question is never whether the love without is enough. It is always whether the love within is enough. If it is, if there is love to spare and share and fill the lake, there is no question.
And...today I live without love.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
It's been days since I last updated this blog. I don't know why, I just don't feel like writing anything. Life is still busy, way busier than I ever imagined. I thought, it will be better now but it seems not.
I am going to end this internship tomorrow, after 5 months of suffering, finally i am ending, and it's strange how i began to actually like some parts of this school when I am going to leave here. The thing is that, I am still unhappy about most parts of it and i don't regret resigning but...the thought of being able to teach little henry art is kinda fun. He is this 1/3 boy who looks like jy and i think he has a better personality than jy as he's always smiling and laughing, happy go lucky yet serious about his work. that's the kind of triat that im looking for in a guy, not like someone who is always frawning as if the sky is going to drop the next moment. I will feel very stressed being together with him.
Ysd I went for zaobao wenhuaying, the experience of being the station master is not bad but it's kinda sad that i din get to go into water very often...anyway, wildwildwet is not very exciting, soooo...oh but...no handsome fit guys to see also... I lost my watch there, wad a sad thing, I am damn pissed off cos that watch is a present from carol, tiff and turtle for my 20th birthday, felt really sorry to them. But, I witnessed the most romantic confession, junzhan senior finally decided to do something to his "long time secret love girl"...ysd was fangda's birthday, and jz brought out such a romantic cake with candles forming a heart shape and little...oopss...i duno wad's that...fireworks? sighz..im kinda bad at descibing...other than choking us and the room with smoke, jz had done a great job this time...however, his inability to express himself caused him to be unable to really..."get her" by ysd...but from what i observed, sooner or later they'll be together...wow...so damn cool...and i feel so damn sad for myself...sighz...
and...since i've passed their interview, i will be going to singapore press holdings and be an intern from...probably nxt month onwards. sounds cool, they say they will put me in news room...i wonder what kind of news i am going to cover but for now...i just want a break, a short break will do..im kinda exhausted at the moment.
and....she ying dui people told me that montage result is out and to my surprise, NJ DID NOT WIN THE SCHOOL SCHALLENGE! or should i say that i half expected it? i duno, the deadline for submission somehow, fell within their ct days and i won't believe that they will put aside studies and care about this competition, oh well, studies is important lah of course, but i guess they lacked the ability to juggle both at the same time...tsk tsk....all the more i am impressed with myself and ian and si jie and yixian for being able to pull through and having done so much without ruining our Alvl...heehee...oopss...i should be sad now...and i think i am... a little bit may be.
anddddd...im pissed, how can they let me relieve ms loy's class? i have told them a million, no, a trillion times that I. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. HAVE. ANYTHING. TO. DO. WITH. THAT. HORRIBLE.IDIOTIC.EGOSTICAL.OLD.UGLY.WEIRD.IMMORAL WOMAN! fine fine fine...since they did that, i have no choice but to.......hahaha...join in with the students and bitch about her together...hahaha...she must be really a bad teacher i guess, all her students hate her, if not, loathe her...haha...i went into both of her classes...wow...they are soooo anti-loy lah...haha...oh well...i am really openly and secretly happy about this...how can one make all her students hate him/her? ans: behave like loy and you will succeed without efforts. wohhohohohoho...
arkkk...art class outing or gathering...duno if i should go, i duno...may be i wont go...
I am going to end this internship tomorrow, after 5 months of suffering, finally i am ending, and it's strange how i began to actually like some parts of this school when I am going to leave here. The thing is that, I am still unhappy about most parts of it and i don't regret resigning but...the thought of being able to teach little henry art is kinda fun. He is this 1/3 boy who looks like jy and i think he has a better personality than jy as he's always smiling and laughing, happy go lucky yet serious about his work. that's the kind of triat that im looking for in a guy, not like someone who is always frawning as if the sky is going to drop the next moment. I will feel very stressed being together with him.
Ysd I went for zaobao wenhuaying, the experience of being the station master is not bad but it's kinda sad that i din get to go into water very often...anyway, wildwildwet is not very exciting, soooo...oh but...no handsome fit guys to see also... I lost my watch there, wad a sad thing, I am damn pissed off cos that watch is a present from carol, tiff and turtle for my 20th birthday, felt really sorry to them. But, I witnessed the most romantic confession, junzhan senior finally decided to do something to his "long time secret love girl"...ysd was fangda's birthday, and jz brought out such a romantic cake with candles forming a heart shape and little...oopss...i duno wad's that...fireworks? sighz..im kinda bad at descibing...other than choking us and the room with smoke, jz had done a great job this time...however, his inability to express himself caused him to be unable to really..."get her" by ysd...but from what i observed, sooner or later they'll be together...wow...so damn cool...and i feel so damn sad for myself...sighz...
and...since i've passed their interview, i will be going to singapore press holdings and be an intern from...probably nxt month onwards. sounds cool, they say they will put me in news room...i wonder what kind of news i am going to cover but for now...i just want a break, a short break will do..im kinda exhausted at the moment.
and....she ying dui people told me that montage result is out and to my surprise, NJ DID NOT WIN THE SCHOOL SCHALLENGE! or should i say that i half expected it? i duno, the deadline for submission somehow, fell within their ct days and i won't believe that they will put aside studies and care about this competition, oh well, studies is important lah of course, but i guess they lacked the ability to juggle both at the same time...tsk tsk....all the more i am impressed with myself and ian and si jie and yixian for being able to pull through and having done so much without ruining our Alvl...heehee...oopss...i should be sad now...and i think i am... a little bit may be.
anddddd...im pissed, how can they let me relieve ms loy's class? i have told them a million, no, a trillion times that I. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. HAVE. ANYTHING. TO. DO. WITH. THAT. HORRIBLE.IDIOTIC.EGOSTICAL.OLD.UGLY.WEIRD.IMMORAL WOMAN! fine fine fine...since they did that, i have no choice but to.......hahaha...join in with the students and bitch about her together...hahaha...she must be really a bad teacher i guess, all her students hate her, if not, loathe her...haha...i went into both of her classes...wow...they are soooo anti-loy lah...haha...oh well...i am really openly and secretly happy about this...how can one make all her students hate him/her? ans: behave like loy and you will succeed without efforts. wohhohohohoho...
arkkk...art class outing or gathering...duno if i should go, i duno...may be i wont go...
Friday, May 16, 2008
“为什么我的眼中饱含泪水，因为我对这片土地爱得深沉。”从手拉着手的那一刻起，就再也没有人会无助地哭泣。
年轻的父母身下是３岁的女儿
救护人员围在一处严重损毁的屋角处——压在房屋下的是两个不幸遇难的大人，被他们护在身下的是一名眨着大眼睛的小女孩。
宋欣宜，这个只有三岁的小女孩在与死神抗争了４０多个小时后，从废墟中被解救出来时，周围的人都哭了：已经故去的年轻父母脸对脸、胳膊搭着胳膊，用自己的身体搭成一个拱形，在地震发生的一瞬双双挡住倒塌下来的沉重墙体，用血肉之躯为自己的孩子构筑了一道“生命的围墙”。
求生是人的本能，而在生死一瞬，伟大的父爱和母爱却超越了本能.
宋欣宜，这个只有三岁的小女孩在与死神抗争了４０多个小时后，从废墟中被解救出来时，周围的人都哭了：已经故去的年轻父母脸对脸、胳膊搭着胳膊，用自己的身体搭成一个拱形，在地震发生的一瞬双双挡住倒塌下来的沉重墙体，用血肉之躯为自己的孩子构筑了一道“生命的围墙”。
求生是人的本能，而在生死一瞬，伟大的父爱和母爱却超越了本能.
他身下死死地护着４个学生
妻子张关蓉正在仔细地擦拭着丈夫的遗体：脸上的每一粒沙尘都被轻轻拭去；细细梳理蓬乱的头发，梳成他生前习惯的发型……
当张关蓉拉起谭千秋的手臂，要给他擦去血迹时，丈夫僵硬的手指再次触痛了她的神经：“昨天抬过来还是软软的，现在咋就变得这么硬啊！”张关蓉轻揉着丈夫的手臂，恸哭失声……
就是这双曾传播无数知识的手臂，在地震发生的一瞬间从死神手中夺回了４个年轻的生命，手臂上的伤痕清晰地记录下了这一切！
“我们发现他的时候，他双臂张开着趴在课桌上，身下还死死地护着４个学生，４个学生都活了！”一位救援人员忍不住哭出声来。
“摘下我的翅膀，送给你飞翔”
当汶川县映秀镇的群众徒手搬开垮塌的镇小学教学楼的一角时，被眼前的一幕惊呆了：一名男子跪仆在废墟上，双臂紧紧搂着两个孩子，像一只展翅欲飞的雄鹰。两个孩子还活着，而“雄鹰”已经气绝！由于紧抱孩子的手臂已经僵硬，救援人员只得含泪将之锯掉才把孩子救出。
这名男子是该校２９岁的老师张米亚。“摘下我的翅膀，送给你飞翔。”多才多艺、最爱唱歌的张米亚老师用生命诠释了这句歌词，用血肉之躯为他的学生牢牢把守住了生命之门。
这名男子是该校２９岁的老师张米亚。“摘下我的翅膀，送给你飞翔。”多才多艺、最爱唱歌的张米亚老师用生命诠释了这句歌词，用血肉之躯为他的学生牢牢把守住了生命之门。
看着那些幼小的生命，他们蜷缩着，鲜血已经凝固，像熟睡的样子……总理哭了，更多的人也和总理一样哭了。面对天灾，我们可以对大自然的残酷无情心生怨恨，但我们明白，怨天尤人不会让逝者复活，努力从废墟中挽救幸存者的生命，才是我们应该做的。
面对突如其来的灾难，生命是如此的脆弱，逾万条生命顷刻间逝去。但在大爱面前，生命又如此顽强，发生在废墟上的一幕幕闪耀着人性光辉的无私大爱创造了一个又一个生命奇迹。
这３天３夜，对所有中国人而言，意味着悲伤的黑色！
这３天３夜，有许许多多拯救生命的恸人瞬间，值得我们永远铭记.
这３天３夜，有许许多多拯救生命的恸人瞬间，值得我们永远铭记.
我会在心里为所有的罹难者家属及还在等待救援的灾民们祈祷。
This blog will be closed soon...
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Sketched Mr Loh...heeheeMy NUS Montage submission...not very good but i have bo time to really go out and take photos
The Cat
Have you ever looked into the eyes of a cat so intensely before? If you did, then perhaps you will be able to understand the fear and anger they feel towards man. So what is it that had caused the tension between the cat and us? Let’s all reflect inwards and perhaps, if we are sincere enough, we will be able to find the answer along the way.
Barbwire
One day, when we wake up, we’ll probably find ourselves being confined within a space by barbwires. Everywhere else seems so quiet and peaceful except for our hearts, which we know are screaming for freedom. Those being deprived of freedom will eventually break free of the restrictions and be liberated. But for now, the tension remains.
Reborn
When one fights to arrive at a breakthrough for him/herself, the struggle and sufferings can only be understood by the individual. The tension between the old body and new self will result in conflict. Whichever one emerges victorious, the other will be destroyed. Just like this spider; if it fails to escape from its old skin, it will be dead but if it succeeds, the old skin shall be discarded. From this we see the sacrifice and danger one has to take on in order to move forward, literally and metaphorically.
Have you ever looked into the eyes of a cat so intensely before? If you did, then perhaps you will be able to understand the fear and anger they feel towards man. So what is it that had caused the tension between the cat and us? Let’s all reflect inwards and perhaps, if we are sincere enough, we will be able to find the answer along the way.
Barbwire
One day, when we wake up, we’ll probably find ourselves being confined within a space by barbwires. Everywhere else seems so quiet and peaceful except for our hearts, which we know are screaming for freedom. Those being deprived of freedom will eventually break free of the restrictions and be liberated. But for now, the tension remains.
Reborn
When one fights to arrive at a breakthrough for him/herself, the struggle and sufferings can only be understood by the individual. The tension between the old body and new self will result in conflict. Whichever one emerges victorious, the other will be destroyed. Just like this spider; if it fails to escape from its old skin, it will be dead but if it succeeds, the old skin shall be discarded. From this we see the sacrifice and danger one has to take on in order to move forward, literally and metaphorically.
The Challenge from another Species
Since the beginning of mankind’s dominance of Earth, the tension between human and animals never ceases. Often we see the cruelty man display towards the animals and rarely do we encounter any sort of retaliation or challenges coming from their side. So now, in a rare scenario of the man versus the crab, will Man emerge as the undisputable victor again? I wonder when the time for man to realise their vulnerability will come.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
领悟
我以为我会哭 但是我没有
我只是征征望着你的脚步
给你我最后的祝福
这何尝不是一种领悟?
让我把自己看清楚
虽然那无爱的痛苦
将日日夜夜在我灵魂最深处
我以为我会报复 但是我没有
当我看到我深爱过的男人
竟然像孩子一样无助!
这何尝不是一种领悟
让你把自己看清楚
被爱是奢侈的幸福
可惜你从来不在乎
啊! 一段感情就此结束
啊! 一颗心眼看要荒芜
我们的爱若是错误
愿你我没有白白受苦
若曾真心真意付出 就应该满足!啊!
多么痛的领悟 你曾是我的全部
只是我回首来时路的每一步
都走得好孤独啊!
多么痛的领悟 你曾是我的全部
只愿你挣脱情的枷锁 爱的束缚
任意追逐 别再为爱受苦
我哭了，这一次不再是为了自己的事。看着四川地震的救灾画面，我无法不动容，看着温总理悲愤交集的神情，我无法不感动，看着一具具年幼孩子们的尸体，我无法不伤心。。虽然在北京的家一切都好，但不知为什么我的心感到好痛，看到那些触目惊人的灾区镜头，我的心就像时纠在了一起。。心好痛。。。好像马上到那里和他们一起挖，一起救人。这不是什么伟大的感言，只是因为我感到自己是如此的渺小，如此得一无是处，在国家如此危难的时候，我竟只能坐在电视机前观看新闻。难道这真的是我唯一能做的吗？捐款，是的，是个好办法，可是捐了之后，怎么还是感到那么的空虚？看到温总理流泪了，我看着看着就跟着一起哭了，怎么能不哭？看着这一幕幕惨不忍睹的画面，压在废墟下面的虽不是我的亲属，但只要设身处地的想想，就不难想象目前四川人们的伤心，我又能做些什么呢？能做些什么呢？当我眼看着自己的祖国母亲正面对着如此的灾难，我又能做些什么呢？天哪，我怎么可以这么没用呢？读了这么多年的书，现在才发现自己对国家可贡献的就只有这么一点点，就这么一点点，既然这样，我哪里还有脸整天为了自己的一点情情爱爱的事儿烦心呢？
怎么坍塌的会是教学楼呢？那时国家培养希望的地方呀，一下子就没有了这么多的孩子，那么多的独生子女，国家要怎么办呢？他们的父母又要怎么办呢？怎么会这样。。怎么会这样。。我们的国家真的需要这样被一次又一次地考验吗，那么多的天灾人祸，一次又一次地难过与损失，天哪，你什么时候才能学会怜悯我的中国？？？什么时候，我们才能脱离天灾的威胁，外国人的歧视与恶意伤害？期待着吧，期待吧，期待那一天的到来，而现在，我们中华儿女更应团结一致，我们永远都不会被外国侵略主义恶势力或是自然灾害所打败，大中华之魂万岁！
我以为我会哭 但是我没有
我只是征征望着你的脚步
给你我最后的祝福
这何尝不是一种领悟?
让我把自己看清楚
虽然那无爱的痛苦
将日日夜夜在我灵魂最深处
我以为我会报复 但是我没有
当我看到我深爱过的男人
竟然像孩子一样无助!
这何尝不是一种领悟
让你把自己看清楚
被爱是奢侈的幸福
可惜你从来不在乎
啊! 一段感情就此结束
啊! 一颗心眼看要荒芜
我们的爱若是错误
愿你我没有白白受苦
若曾真心真意付出 就应该满足!啊!
多么痛的领悟 你曾是我的全部
只是我回首来时路的每一步
都走得好孤独啊!
多么痛的领悟 你曾是我的全部
只愿你挣脱情的枷锁 爱的束缚
任意追逐 别再为爱受苦
我哭了，这一次不再是为了自己的事。看着四川地震的救灾画面，我无法不动容，看着温总理悲愤交集的神情，我无法不感动，看着一具具年幼孩子们的尸体，我无法不伤心。。虽然在北京的家一切都好，但不知为什么我的心感到好痛，看到那些触目惊人的灾区镜头，我的心就像时纠在了一起。。心好痛。。。好像马上到那里和他们一起挖，一起救人。这不是什么伟大的感言，只是因为我感到自己是如此的渺小，如此得一无是处，在国家如此危难的时候，我竟只能坐在电视机前观看新闻。难道这真的是我唯一能做的吗？捐款，是的，是个好办法，可是捐了之后，怎么还是感到那么的空虚？看到温总理流泪了，我看着看着就跟着一起哭了，怎么能不哭？看着这一幕幕惨不忍睹的画面，压在废墟下面的虽不是我的亲属，但只要设身处地的想想，就不难想象目前四川人们的伤心，我又能做些什么呢？能做些什么呢？当我眼看着自己的祖国母亲正面对着如此的灾难，我又能做些什么呢？天哪，我怎么可以这么没用呢？读了这么多年的书，现在才发现自己对国家可贡献的就只有这么一点点，就这么一点点，既然这样，我哪里还有脸整天为了自己的一点情情爱爱的事儿烦心呢？
怎么坍塌的会是教学楼呢？那时国家培养希望的地方呀，一下子就没有了这么多的孩子，那么多的独生子女，国家要怎么办呢？他们的父母又要怎么办呢？怎么会这样。。怎么会这样。。我们的国家真的需要这样被一次又一次地考验吗，那么多的天灾人祸，一次又一次地难过与损失，天哪，你什么时候才能学会怜悯我的中国？？？什么时候，我们才能脱离天灾的威胁，外国人的歧视与恶意伤害？期待着吧，期待吧，期待那一天的到来，而现在，我们中华儿女更应团结一致，我们永远都不会被外国侵略主义恶势力或是自然灾害所打败，大中华之魂万岁！
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
有些时候，错过了或者失去了，并不一定是件坏事。。正所谓塞翁失马，焉知非福。。
现在我对那段时间的那段情感的感觉有些模糊。。。就好像一首歌里唱的那样。。。不知是友情，还是错过的爱情。。
时间长了，什么就都能熬过来的。。也许我情感的起点低了一点，但并不代表它不能达到高处。。只要我用平常心去面对，就能撑过去，有些人，有些事，不值得那么认真。当他都不把你当回事的时候，只有自己对自己好一点，才算是对自己公平。他从始至终的敷衍，是表明他心思的最佳证明，我又何必强人所难，又强己所难呢？所谓己不所欲，勿施于人。
在对的时间，遇到了错的人，只能是一场伤心。
从今以后，我不做保证，不再幻想，一切随缘，缘起缘灭，缘来缘去，终究不是我能掌控的，一切顺其自然。
世界上还有那么多的人在为了生存而挣扎，自然灾害的无情与破坏，使得那么多人一夜之间变得无家可归，顿失亲友，流离失所。。。中国的地震，缅甸的风灾。。。这个世界和我的世界好像都乱了，但相比之下，我想，我的问题是可以简单解决的，面对着那些世界的问题，那些受难的人，我又如何有资格因为我的这一点点小问题而整日颓废不堪呢？
期待着吧，期待着重生的到来...
现在我对那段时间的那段情感的感觉有些模糊。。。就好像一首歌里唱的那样。。。不知是友情，还是错过的爱情。。
时间长了，什么就都能熬过来的。。也许我情感的起点低了一点，但并不代表它不能达到高处。。只要我用平常心去面对，就能撑过去，有些人，有些事，不值得那么认真。当他都不把你当回事的时候，只有自己对自己好一点，才算是对自己公平。他从始至终的敷衍，是表明他心思的最佳证明，我又何必强人所难，又强己所难呢？所谓己不所欲，勿施于人。
在对的时间，遇到了错的人，只能是一场伤心。
从今以后，我不做保证，不再幻想，一切随缘，缘起缘灭，缘来缘去，终究不是我能掌控的，一切顺其自然。
世界上还有那么多的人在为了生存而挣扎，自然灾害的无情与破坏，使得那么多人一夜之间变得无家可归，顿失亲友，流离失所。。。中国的地震，缅甸的风灾。。。这个世界和我的世界好像都乱了，但相比之下，我想，我的问题是可以简单解决的，面对着那些世界的问题，那些受难的人，我又如何有资格因为我的这一点点小问题而整日颓废不堪呢？
期待着吧，期待着重生的到来...
Friday, May 09, 2008
I should have known that this kind of thing will happne. JY is not a person who does not make mistakes, even si jie will. But the thing is, si jie had mo, and mo had si jie, haha, we do proof reading for each other before sending out mass emails. well...it's good to have a good friend in your exco. if si jie weren't there with me last year, i dont think i will be able to survive, would have quitted long ago.
and..i rmb jy saying that he will organise a national photography competition by march this year. oh well, not that sj and i believed that he'll actually do it, but really, at i was hoping that he'll prove us wrong and then go ahead and do it, untilllllll...oh haha..until i heard that even regular sessions of activities were even cancelled, and also, outings are as unsuccessful or even more unsuccessful compared to our batch. at least, our batch the excos (except jy) will go. But i probably know the reason why jy din materialise his words. I think he wanted it to happen, but in order for something to happen, time and efforts have to be put in, nothing is for free, and one person alone cant do everything, and i guess this year's exco kinda seem to focus on their own things much more than other things. The passion isnt there. At least for our batch, im not sure abt ian and yx, but liang, sj and i are rather passionate, but unfortunately, we shared different visions for the club and all the clashes and conflicts caused us to be rather disillusioned towards the end.
yeah, jy has the habbit of putting everything on himself, good or bad, all the work. He thinks that if he lets others do it, they might create more troubles, which is true to a certain extent of course, we always trust ourselved more than we trust others. But if we over work ourselves, we wont be able to ensure the efficiency. yeah. must learn to let go. and i believe that the job of the pres is not to care abt all the little details but to bond the club, make sure that every exco will be contributing to the club, training every exco to become a specialist in their own field and let them plan, prepare things within there scope of responsibilities, that will be able to ensure the overall efficiency of the club. yeah, so, pres is really important. sighz...but of course, im in no position to say much about it since i was never a pres? haha, probably i dun understand how they felt, but this is wad i feel ( after trying to put myself in their shoes...)
but for now, aiya, concentrate on CT first, it's kinda a bad timing. sighz, but one must know when to focus on what. I smsed jy today and told him what i think, he din reply, so i guess he knows what he should do, haha, yeah, im being busybody..well...good luck to him.
And as for mufeng, well, you have to accept that this kind of thing always happen in ps, jy is not the only who'll make mistakes. haha, ian was worse last year, try not to get agitated by this, not that worth it. haha,and that ic guy...oh well.. rumours always fly around one lah, and rumours will only remain rumours as long as you keep cool.事实胜于雄辩 yeah, after a while it will be gone lah, i know it is irritating, and like, 'you like him' indicating u initiated makes u feel kinda really hurt ur pride...but then who the hell cares? i know u wont fall for such taste de ren de, haha, he's not good enough for you :P, in fact, i think very few are good enough for my little pretty cute and smart and "hot tempered" junior...haha...they'll eventually learn to not to test ur limits...haha..so for the time being, focus on ur H3 STaR and aiya, ps is a small thing lah. and as for PSｅｘｃｏ，im not sure if i shld say this but, DO CONSIDER CAREFULLY. dont make a choice that will make you regret later, well, ian, sj and i are living examples. we became the most unhappy ps exco...haha...yeah, just think whether u want and if you can shoulder all those responsibilities and work with the rest. And, i think your hot temper is short changing you lah, try not to show so much emotions in front of people, try to hide them a bit, so that you wont be judged as irrational, rash or emotional. trust me, i've been through it, not a good reputation to live with, haha, yeah, it kindas even affects me now as im working. yeah, you are a smart, hardworking, prideful and pretty girl, a great future lies ahead of you and so dun let such small tiny things such as bad temper obstruct your way to greatness. yeh? oops...i sound so serious,haha, but in any case, try to understand jy a bit too, he's under loads of pressure lah, though i myself always hate or dun wana understand him, i have to say that it's not fair to push all the blame on him lah. and wadever happens mufeng, if really u felt '委屈' or wana talk to people, im always here, haha, can call, sms, email or ask me out de...i'll try my best to help...haha...if ppl bully you, i will go kick their ass for you :)... ( but not jy, i am bloody scared of himwahahahahahahaha)
right now im enjoying my life in bgss, yeah, had yoga in the morning. and...i had a nice breakfast session with them, and then with the art department, and we had department photo taking session, really cool. and...marking is boring, but one stu got 19/25, i was so happy! haha...and monday a big shot's gona come, to art room somemore...and...monday will be my interview...aiya...and...hahaha...i must go finish marking the essays...im so screwed...deadline deadline deadline!
OH...BY THE WAY this is the blog i created for BGSS elearning day for art: http://bgss-art-forum.blogspot.com/
haha...the comments of the stu are really quite cute...yehh..i feel a sense of accomplishment!!!! heehee...:P i wrote the instructions leh!!!!! :P
mo is just good....
im ms wang
and..i rmb jy saying that he will organise a national photography competition by march this year. oh well, not that sj and i believed that he'll actually do it, but really, at i was hoping that he'll prove us wrong and then go ahead and do it, untilllllll...oh haha..until i heard that even regular sessions of activities were even cancelled, and also, outings are as unsuccessful or even more unsuccessful compared to our batch. at least, our batch the excos (except jy) will go. But i probably know the reason why jy din materialise his words. I think he wanted it to happen, but in order for something to happen, time and efforts have to be put in, nothing is for free, and one person alone cant do everything, and i guess this year's exco kinda seem to focus on their own things much more than other things. The passion isnt there. At least for our batch, im not sure abt ian and yx, but liang, sj and i are rather passionate, but unfortunately, we shared different visions for the club and all the clashes and conflicts caused us to be rather disillusioned towards the end.
yeah, jy has the habbit of putting everything on himself, good or bad, all the work. He thinks that if he lets others do it, they might create more troubles, which is true to a certain extent of course, we always trust ourselved more than we trust others. But if we over work ourselves, we wont be able to ensure the efficiency. yeah. must learn to let go. and i believe that the job of the pres is not to care abt all the little details but to bond the club, make sure that every exco will be contributing to the club, training every exco to become a specialist in their own field and let them plan, prepare things within there scope of responsibilities, that will be able to ensure the overall efficiency of the club. yeah, so, pres is really important. sighz...but of course, im in no position to say much about it since i was never a pres? haha, probably i dun understand how they felt, but this is wad i feel ( after trying to put myself in their shoes...)
but for now, aiya, concentrate on CT first, it's kinda a bad timing. sighz, but one must know when to focus on what. I smsed jy today and told him what i think, he din reply, so i guess he knows what he should do, haha, yeah, im being busybody..well...good luck to him.
And as for mufeng, well, you have to accept that this kind of thing always happen in ps, jy is not the only who'll make mistakes. haha, ian was worse last year, try not to get agitated by this, not that worth it. haha,and that ic guy...oh well.. rumours always fly around one lah, and rumours will only remain rumours as long as you keep cool.事实胜于雄辩 yeah, after a while it will be gone lah, i know it is irritating, and like, 'you like him' indicating u initiated makes u feel kinda really hurt ur pride...but then who the hell cares? i know u wont fall for such taste de ren de, haha, he's not good enough for you :P, in fact, i think very few are good enough for my little pretty cute and smart and "hot tempered" junior...haha...they'll eventually learn to not to test ur limits...haha..so for the time being, focus on ur H3 STaR and aiya, ps is a small thing lah. and as for PSｅｘｃｏ，im not sure if i shld say this but, DO CONSIDER CAREFULLY. dont make a choice that will make you regret later, well, ian, sj and i are living examples. we became the most unhappy ps exco...haha...yeah, just think whether u want and if you can shoulder all those responsibilities and work with the rest. And, i think your hot temper is short changing you lah, try not to show so much emotions in front of people, try to hide them a bit, so that you wont be judged as irrational, rash or emotional. trust me, i've been through it, not a good reputation to live with, haha, yeah, it kindas even affects me now as im working. yeah, you are a smart, hardworking, prideful and pretty girl, a great future lies ahead of you and so dun let such small tiny things such as bad temper obstruct your way to greatness. yeh? oops...i sound so serious,haha, but in any case, try to understand jy a bit too, he's under loads of pressure lah, though i myself always hate or dun wana understand him, i have to say that it's not fair to push all the blame on him lah. and wadever happens mufeng, if really u felt '委屈' or wana talk to people, im always here, haha, can call, sms, email or ask me out de...i'll try my best to help...haha...if ppl bully you, i will go kick their ass for you :)... ( but not jy, i am bloody scared of himwahahahahahahaha)
right now im enjoying my life in bgss, yeah, had yoga in the morning. and...i had a nice breakfast session with them, and then with the art department, and we had department photo taking session, really cool. and...marking is boring, but one stu got 19/25, i was so happy! haha...and monday a big shot's gona come, to art room somemore...and...monday will be my interview...aiya...and...hahaha...i must go finish marking the essays...im so screwed...deadline deadline deadline!
OH...BY THE WAY this is the blog i created for BGSS elearning day for art: http://bgss-art-forum.blogspot.com/
haha...the comments of the stu are really quite cute...yehh..i feel a sense of accomplishment!!!! heehee...:P i wrote the instructions leh!!!!! :P
mo is just good....
im ms wang
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Tomorrow is marking day.
I have to go to sch and mark. And mr M said that the "staff wellfare committee" has organised some activities for the teachers. We will be doing "yoga" in the mornng...gosh and i have to wear orange and black as all art tchers will wear that. so officially im given an orange tshirt..but the thing is that, i dont have a black sports pants...all my sports pants are in other colours and my black pants are...well...working pants... -_-'''
and marking is getting boring now...the answers are just too funny...
moe havent send me the email.
i read mufeng's blog..felt funny after reading the entry about jy, felt that 'he' is so far away from me, and the days when i can talk to him, play with him are far gone now, those days that we used to work together seemed so long ago, like years ago. cant seem to have the same courage and willingness to continue any form of interactions, connections, contact with him. you know, im becoming more and more afraid of something, im unsure of what it is. it is just that, i could feel that i still want to see him, want to talk to him, want his help, want to hear about things related to him, want to see him succeed. But, surprisingly, i just cant bring myself to go back to nj to see him. it's like...on the other hand, i'm hating him..to the core. i dun wana see his face, i dun wana see him doing anything, i dun wana hear about him. you know, the kind of contradicting feeling? well...you wont want to see...the thing that's with me is that, things are getting strange. I'm starting to not understand myself. yeah, it's like the situation...well..aiya...i am afraid that if i continue to like him and keep seeing him whenever i can, i will be even more hurt next time, but now, as i try to make him my ex-friend, i feel the same pain as i felt that im forcing myself to do something which i really cant do it....but sighz...let bygone be bygone...yep...and i hearby declare that, i shall not talk to anyone who has any connections to sjy in order to keep myself insulated from him....well...it's not wise but im thinking of doing this.
I have to go to sch and mark. And mr M said that the "staff wellfare committee" has organised some activities for the teachers. We will be doing "yoga" in the mornng...gosh and i have to wear orange and black as all art tchers will wear that. so officially im given an orange tshirt..but the thing is that, i dont have a black sports pants...all my sports pants are in other colours and my black pants are...well...working pants... -_-'''
and marking is getting boring now...the answers are just too funny...
moe havent send me the email.
i read mufeng's blog..felt funny after reading the entry about jy, felt that 'he' is so far away from me, and the days when i can talk to him, play with him are far gone now, those days that we used to work together seemed so long ago, like years ago. cant seem to have the same courage and willingness to continue any form of interactions, connections, contact with him. you know, im becoming more and more afraid of something, im unsure of what it is. it is just that, i could feel that i still want to see him, want to talk to him, want his help, want to hear about things related to him, want to see him succeed. But, surprisingly, i just cant bring myself to go back to nj to see him. it's like...on the other hand, i'm hating him..to the core. i dun wana see his face, i dun wana see him doing anything, i dun wana hear about him. you know, the kind of contradicting feeling? well...you wont want to see...the thing that's with me is that, things are getting strange. I'm starting to not understand myself. yeah, it's like the situation...well..aiya...i am afraid that if i continue to like him and keep seeing him whenever i can, i will be even more hurt next time, but now, as i try to make him my ex-friend, i feel the same pain as i felt that im forcing myself to do something which i really cant do it....but sighz...let bygone be bygone...yep...and i hearby declare that, i shall not talk to anyone who has any connections to sjy in order to keep myself insulated from him....well...it's not wise but im thinking of doing this.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
I guess today im in a good mood. I went about the staff room telling other tchers all my lame and cold jokes...hahaha...bet it made weekeong felt like he needs a heater.
anyway...i've been really unlucky recently, first, i was emo, then i lost my Ez-Link and house key on the bus yesterday. And I am so sure that some aunties just took it and kept it, thinking it will worth a million. oh well...bad impression well formed right now. I mean..i dun like greedy people, if they want the card, go ahead and take it, but please, return the keys at least, now my mum has to change lock. how nice.
ehh...I invigilated 2A today, and i found out that they were quite a few errors in the schedule, such as i realised that my slot for invigilation is from 1120-1155 which indicated that i am supposed to collect the paper, however, their paper does not end till 1215. so I called cuiying who went to find the exam centre people, okay, it came out as, they printed wrongly, and they've arranged a person called "wang mo" to take the nxt period and collect the paper which is from 1155 to 1230, so i can 'just leave at 1155 when the "wangmo" comes to take over me' wow...so it turns out that they think that i am not wang mo, wang mo is another person...-_-''''
ohh...hohohoho...i was watching 2A do their history paper, and you know wad, i duno how to answer 1/2 of their multiple choice qn...wow...and one girl, she was combing her hair throughout the 2hrs...i watched her do that and i was wondering if she'll ever realise that there were exam papers on her table. towards the end, i was imagining her hair dropping..wow...im weird...haha...
I miss my housekey...
anyway...i've been really unlucky recently, first, i was emo, then i lost my Ez-Link and house key on the bus yesterday. And I am so sure that some aunties just took it and kept it, thinking it will worth a million. oh well...bad impression well formed right now. I mean..i dun like greedy people, if they want the card, go ahead and take it, but please, return the keys at least, now my mum has to change lock. how nice.
ehh...I invigilated 2A today, and i found out that they were quite a few errors in the schedule, such as i realised that my slot for invigilation is from 1120-1155 which indicated that i am supposed to collect the paper, however, their paper does not end till 1215. so I called cuiying who went to find the exam centre people, okay, it came out as, they printed wrongly, and they've arranged a person called "wang mo" to take the nxt period and collect the paper which is from 1155 to 1230, so i can 'just leave at 1155 when the "wangmo" comes to take over me' wow...so it turns out that they think that i am not wang mo, wang mo is another person...-_-''''
ohh...hohohoho...i was watching 2A do their history paper, and you know wad, i duno how to answer 1/2 of their multiple choice qn...wow...and one girl, she was combing her hair throughout the 2hrs...i watched her do that and i was wondering if she'll ever realise that there were exam papers on her table. towards the end, i was imagining her hair dropping..wow...im weird...haha...
I miss my housekey...
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
在日本发生了一件千真万确的事：有人为了装修家里，拆开了墙；日式住宅的墙壁通常是中间架了木板后，两
边批上泥土，其实里面是空的。 他拆墙壁的时候，发现一只 壁虎被困在那里一根从外面钉进来的钉子钉住了
那只壁虎的尾巴。那人见状，既觉可怜又感好奇，他仔细看了看那根钉子，天啊！那根钉子是十年前盖那房子
的时候钉的。 到底怎么回事？那只壁虎竟然困在墙壁里活了整整十年！黑暗中的墙壁里的十年，真不简单。不
对呀？他继而寻思，尾巴被钉住了，一个步子也跨不出的这只壁虎，到底靠什么撑过了这十年？他于是暂时停
止了装修工程看看它到底吃了什么!他要一探究竟。 过了不久，不知从哪里又钻出来一只壁虎，嘴里含着食
物...啊！他一时愣住了， 这是什么样的情形啊？为了被钉住尾巴而不能走动的壁虎，另一只壁虎竟然在十年
的岁月里一直不停地衔取食物喂它。我听了以后，很感动，真的也不去想它们之间的关系： 亲子，朋友，异
性，手足....在人类的社会中随着计算机的普及，人与人获取相关的信息更快速，但是人与人之间的距离是否
也越来越接近呢？...所以永远也不要放弃你所爱的人！
电影《终极无间》里，陈道明有一句台词说得精彩：“从来都是事情改变人，人改变不了事。”
是不是做的太少，是不是想的太多
如果能够找人随便聊点甚么
那样的日子也许好过
有没有给的太少，有没有要的太多
朋友已经散伙，
爱情剩下半个星星也在暗暗地笑我
不说不说请不要说，
一个人应该学会寂寞
不说不说你不要说，
寂寞的日子我会自己过
不说不说请不要说，
你只需演好自已的角色
不说不说你不要说，
平平常常也会有快乐
如果能够找人随便聊点甚么
那样的日子也许好过
有没有给的太少，有没有要的太多
朋友已经散伙，
爱情剩下半个星星也在暗暗地笑我
不说不说请不要说，
一个人应该学会寂寞
不说不说你不要说，
寂寞的日子我会自己过
不说不说请不要说，
你只需演好自已的角色
不说不说你不要说，
平平常常也会有快乐
okayokay...time to get out of the emo mood.
I have been rather unhappy these days due to the unreasonable overflow of blueslips...anyway, the thing that i liked the best about invigilation is the quietness, but on a second thought, i prefer teaching. Invigilation = do nothing but walk around. wow...you wont know how boring it is until you get to do it. I used to wish that i will be one of those tchers inviglating one day, and now, that wish is no longer valid. I was in the hall today, and all i did was passing paper and walking and walking and walking. Lucky there was an eye candid for me, I like that boy from this sec1 express class, chubby and cute. at first i tot it was because he looks like jy, but now i guess it's because he's even cuter than jy ever was. yeah. and coincidentally, he is also very good at math and science, saw him finishing the science paper way before his other classmates did. haha...so cute.
And then i went to 3A to give out exam paper, collect paper. everyday do the same thing, but while i was in the hall, the kind of exam scene reminded me of my prelim and Alevel times. You wont know how i missed those times, if i were given a chance to choose, i will rather be the student doing the paper. yeah, sigh, i miss those days, i really do. I hate myself for not being able to realise it earlier, if i did, i would be able to treasure those times a million times better than i did. What was i doing last year? getting myself all stressed up by everything. I should have enjoyed whatever i was doing then, even the "getting angry" part. oh well, may be i did enjoy? hahaha....i enjoyed disturbing jy and testing his limits. ahha..and i enjoyed working and partially fighting along side with sj...that's cool...i enjoyed all greenlink activities, i enjoyed beating mr adrian loh...i enjoyed sleeping in the darkroom in order to escape from boring lessons(even including the part when i got caught by ms seah) well...i must admit that j2 was a really eventful but tense year, i only remembered that i have so much to do, so little time. but everyday i look forward to going to school. yeah...hahaha..of course, can 'stalk' someone lor...hahaha...it's cool...
anyway, like what soemone had told me, when i asked her how she felt about her school days and working days, she said " i enjoyed my school days and i am enjoying my working life right now" this might sound like a rahter typical and simple ans, but it really struck me. I tot i am the one who " hated school life and now is hating working life" and i always tend to look back and regret. from now onwards, i shall give myself no reason to regret again, why not make life easier and happier?
i showed mr azahar the ss scripts today, he cant stop laughing...and he said i was clever.. :P...anyway...he said he expects 20 passes from the whole NA sec3 cohort and i am responsible for their "mid year future" wadever, i assured him that the 20 people target is kinda hard to meet judging from the current scripts that im marking, and it is the best NA class....I marked around 19 scripts for Source based qn and the highest was 13/25, 2 passed. the lowest was 2/25. 17 failed. yeah..-_-'''
There's this source which is a cartoon, and i just dont understand how the student can infer until i question if i am looking at the same cartoon as he did. he was totally 200% out of point....phewww...i cant stop laughing while marking their paper...hahaha...but at least, the benefit is, short and sweet... :P
Monday, May 05, 2008
《忘尽心中情》
“披散头发独自行
得失唯我事
昨天种种梦
难望再有诗
就与他永久別离
未去想那非和是……”
The thing btw shen jiayi and i is that, we are very different. We think differently, therefore, for most of the times, we both think that we are tolerating the other one. I always seem to be the one at fault, being unreasonable, and somehow, he can always just ignore me, let me hang on there whenever he thinks that i am not being reasonable. that's how he tries to avoid any direct conflict with me. and all the time, i will be the one who either apologise afterwards or talk to him first. it always work this way, that was how our friendship continued till this day. but i guess, it might not work this time. i am tired of this style. we are now officially...the ex-friends
life is just so weird, just as i thought i could...peservere and..well. sigh. met si jie on sat, we had a nice chat, and the topic went back to the same old problem...well..it seems that we cant avoid talking abt ps of jy. haha...and thanks si jie, for holding the same view about him throughout, you know what it means? it means that all along, i was wrong about who he is, you are the one who is right. he hates me.
I marked this NA class's SS, wow, i think i am a strick marker, i failed them, really badly, but i really did try to award them marks as long as they touch on the topic...but some answers are just too....FAR..........
bought ticket back to beijing, will be gone really soon, i will miss singapore.....i think.
I miss nj, no i don't.
the same old qestion....to be or not to be. the lousiest question i've ever heard.
“披散头发独自行
得失唯我事
昨天种种梦
难望再有诗
就与他永久別离
未去想那非和是……”
The thing btw shen jiayi and i is that, we are very different. We think differently, therefore, for most of the times, we both think that we are tolerating the other one. I always seem to be the one at fault, being unreasonable, and somehow, he can always just ignore me, let me hang on there whenever he thinks that i am not being reasonable. that's how he tries to avoid any direct conflict with me. and all the time, i will be the one who either apologise afterwards or talk to him first. it always work this way, that was how our friendship continued till this day. but i guess, it might not work this time. i am tired of this style. we are now officially...the ex-friends
life is just so weird, just as i thought i could...peservere and..well. sigh. met si jie on sat, we had a nice chat, and the topic went back to the same old problem...well..it seems that we cant avoid talking abt ps of jy. haha...and thanks si jie, for holding the same view about him throughout, you know what it means? it means that all along, i was wrong about who he is, you are the one who is right. he hates me.
I marked this NA class's SS, wow, i think i am a strick marker, i failed them, really badly, but i really did try to award them marks as long as they touch on the topic...but some answers are just too....FAR..........
bought ticket back to beijing, will be gone really soon, i will miss singapore.....i think.
I miss nj, no i don't.
the same old qestion....to be or not to be. the lousiest question i've ever heard.
Friday, May 02, 2008
okayokayokay...fine. my funny colleagues are getting addicted to my blog. this morning when i stepped into my office, cuiying was complaining about mo not updating her blog and thereore, depriving her weekly entertainment. -_-''
anyway, please, mo is a busy person :) wheeee...i am busy like a donkey...it rhymes but the image does not seem that nice...see if we can change to another one.
heehee both taken at pulau ubin...i din add colour to it hor...only up the contrast a little... :) i love this setting...it seems somewhere rural...not singapore like
they say ubin has the most beautiful dusk...hmmm
haha...crab vs man...who's the winner? but clearly...the crab has shown itself defensive rather than offensive..
what bird is this? i cant identify...
i can jump...wheeeee
one happy greenlink family and i love you all!
okay, i think the pulau ubin trip was definitely traumatising...but there were some rewards...i had fun, really had fun with the young juinors, youth is something precious...hmmmph...im aging... :( we played together, and we stupidly got lost...haha...so typical of mo...I also got the chance to take afew nice pics, well, carrying that a few kg lenses and DSLR camera, the running and walking definitely helped me in slimming down. wheee...
aha...since the mid year has started, we've been having fun laughing at the students' answers, not that we are evil but sometimes, the answers are just too funny...they do help a little in relieving us from the dry marking. ( Mr Azahar decided to trust my ability and let me mark social studies for 3 classes, source base and essay.. yehhhh). here's a few examples of funny answers:
1) chinese essay on "我爱我家"： 我爱我家，因为家里有弟弟给我打.......我爱我家..因为家里有妈妈煮米给我吃......我在外面做地头snake.....谁不听我的我就打死他..拿去给pig吃............................
2) English essay( part of the lines): i was boasting about my hair when i was in primary5 because i had a red hair......
3) English closed passage: Qn "if he always offer helps to others we call him a________guy..." then a student put "bad" ( correct me if im wrong cuiying, that's what i rmb from what u said :P)
-_-''' i am appalled by the answers man. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
another science teacher told me his most classic answer for qn: " What are the 2 laws of reflection" the ans: 1) Do not smoke until you reach 18.
2) Do not steal.
2) Do not steal.
anywayanway...oh yeah, movie with mr low, xinni and karen was really good. i like the movie "the bucket list" well, if i am given the chance and money, i will want to travel around the world and make a list of things that i want to do and accomplish them one by one. afterall, we are given a limited lifetime to do what we choose to do, sometimes i do feel quite trouble...i duno if i am doing what i really want or what others wanted me to do. well...i am still troubled, but i hope by the time that i find out that i wont have much longer to live, may be i will be able to get things clearer and realise what are the things that i really wanted. hopefully by then, it wont be too late.
i bet by then, i wont say that i want jiayi. hahaha...
then, interview with the sph ppl was really a scary one. they asked in both chinese and english and later they realised that they prefer to talk in chinese (蔡深江 being one of my interviewers). and to my horror, i realised that i do not really know how to talk properly in chinese, my gosh, bet i was really acting funny that time...idiot me...
okayokay...i am really tired of all these interviews..one day, if im gona give others interviews...if...i will ask them : do you love me, if you do, marry me! ( this is only applicable to handsome male applicants) wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee....
was doing some doodling juz now...
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